Silence Isn’t Neutral When Relationships Are On The Line

What happens when unspoken hurt lingers for years and only surfaces in fragments and faded details? We take you inside a real weekend of hard truths, where old moments resurfaced and forced a clear-eyed look at how silence quietly rewrites the rules of a relationship. From the first phone call to the last apology, we walk through why people avoid confrontation, how avoidance breeds resentment, and what it sounds like to validate someone’s experience without getting trapped in a debate over a three-year-old memory.

We don’t glorify conflict. Instead, we reframe it as care in action: asking for a call instead of texting walls of emotion, naming a single issue, listening long enough to understand impact, and choosing repair over being right. You’ll hear practical ways to make tough talks easier, including simple scripts to open the conversation, gentle boundaries to keep it productive, and a “pressure release valve” habit to address small hurts before they harden. The goal is less drama, more clarity, and relationships that survive real life.

Between mindful questions and warm shoutouts to the community and sponsors, life hums along with snoring dogs, a determined woodpecker, and a frog who won’t move out. We’re nearing our 100th episode and leaning into the season with an invitation to show up kindly—on the mic, in your texts, and at your next family dinner. If you’ve been carrying something unsaid, consider this your nudge to speak with grace and specificity. Listen, share with a friend who needs a conversational reset, and if the episode helps, tap follow, leave a quick review, and tell us: what finally makes you speak up?

Chapters

• 0:00 Warm Welcome And Dog Snoring
• 1:18 Mindful Monday Sets The Question
• 2:30 Years-Old Grievances Come To Light
• 4:25 Who Actually Likes Confrontation
• 6:10 Why People Delay Difficult Talks
• 8:35 Validating Feelings And Owning Mistakes
• 11:10 Audience Invitation To Weigh In
• 12:40 Listener Shoutouts And Sponsors
• 16:30 Life Updates: Woodpecker And Frog
• 18:20 Nearing Episode 100 And Holiday Plans

Transcript

SPEAKER_01: 0:00

Oh Chika Wow Wow. What's up, party people? Welcome to another episode of LKV Your Life. I am your hostess with the most test. L as in the letter L and key as in the key to your heart. So first off, if you hear snoring in the background once again, know that my dog Chanel, her snoring has gotten much worse. And while I have editing capabilities and all of the options to work on the sounds, I can't totally mute it out. So I hope that is not the case. I can't believe how bad her snoring is now. And it's even when she's just sitting here breathing. Um, you know, shihtzu pick a knees pug. They can't breathe through those little noses of theirs. They're smoosh noses. So please forgive Chanel's snoring in the background. Anyway, welcome to another episode. Uh today is Mindful Monday. And I didn't really have a topic in mind to share about Mindful Monday. And then something did come to mind. Uh, it's another one of those situations where everything was coming at me all at once, all this information, situations, etc. And so on this short mindful Monday episode, I want to ask, why do people feel the need to wait months, weeks, or even years to communicate their feelings about situations. I'm trying to understand that. Uh, and the reason I'm bringing it up is over the weekend there were some things brought to our attention about not being mindful of how we were treating these individuals. And I was like, hey, you know, if if there's you know a rift between us, we need to talk about it, we can't text about it, let's have a phone conversation, let's get it out in the open, yada yada. So fast forward, we do we have uh a phone conversation where all parties involved are on the phone and the things are brought to our attention, and there are literally things that took place years ago. And I just want to ask, and this is not a diss on them because everyone does things in their own time. I am well aware that there are people that are not good communicators or they don't like confrontation. I mean, who does like confrontation? That's what that's the what I want to know. Riddle me this, Batman. Who likes confrontation? The crazy people that want to go around fighting random strangers and picking fights with people, the adrenaline junkies, I would really like to know. So that's the first question. Who likes confrontation? Let's start there. But aside from that, what I would like to know is why hold back on these feelings for days, weeks, months, years, and then say, well, this is what set the tone. This is where it started. And it ends up that it was three plus years ago. And while I did listen to what the parties had to say, I listened to their feelings, I validated their feelings because I could see how those things would have set the tone, created a strain in the relationship, et cetera, et cetera. I was just thinking to myself, why did you wait so long to communicate? Because the thing is, is that as we were going through these scenarios, we were that were being brought to our attention. It was like, oh yeah, and then this happened on that day, and I don't exactly remember because it was this many years ago, and I'm like, yes. So that is my question of the day is why do people that aren't communicators don't like confrontation but want to clear the air? Oh, and mind you, we had already had a previous conversation about other issues. Why do you wait? Why do you wait to let these things fester and stew and build up and snowball to now there is resentment? And so then we reach out and it's like, oh, I'm just gonna ignore you or not respond to your messages or half-ass respond to your messages. And then when I reach out and go, hey, I'm really confused. I've been, you know, making all these attempts and efforts and yada yada, uh, this is what I've gotten back. And then they say, Well, it's because you dropped the ball and you did this and you did that, and that caused all these things. And then I say, Okay, wow, I'm really sorry to hear that. Uh, thank you for enlightening me. Let's have a conversation the next day. So, all I want to know for you non-confrontational, non-communicators, why do you wait so long? Is it because you are hoping the feelings are gonna go away? Is it because you don't feel comfortable bringing up the conversation because you're not confrontational? Is it because you're just thinking, well, I'm just gonna shrug it off and those feelings will go away. I I I just need to give it time, or I don't really see them or talk to them, so it's no big deal. I mean, I could grasp at straws and theorize all kinds of things, but I'm really curious uh because it didn't just happen with one or two people. There were multiple situations that were brought up since the last Wednesday podcast about things that happened in the past and things that were years ago that me being the recipient of these questions, concerns, accusations, whatever you want to call it, confrontations. I'm like, I apologize for that happen, you know, that that happened. I don't even know why that happened because that was three years ago, five years ago, whatever, whatever. And so basically went down the line, validated everything, apologized for everything. But I was like, why didn't you bring this up sooner? Why did you wait one, two, three years? Anyway, that is my question of the day is one, who are the people that like confrontation? Is it the people that um love to pick fights and bully and make a point? Is it you know, who is it? Who what people like confrontation? Um and secondly, why do these people wait so long to communicate their feelings? These are the questions, the burning questions that I've been pondering and would love to hear my audience's thoughts on these matters. So uh on that note want to say thank you to my loyal listeners and subscribers, Travis, Dory, Andrew, sometimes Sue and Cecily, uh, sometimes Miss Semina, um, Mr. Mike Kaufman, my husband sometimes. Uh I don't even want to continue to go down the list because uh it's too many to list and I don't want to bore you. Um, Roger, Rhonda. So on that note, let me shout out to oh, and Kara, of course. Um so let me give a shout out to my lovely sponsors, starting with Kay, creative Kara, lovemyartist.edsi.com. Have any of you checked out her page yet? It's pretty awesome. It's it's very uh creative and eclectic, and I just have to say this woman is a woman of many talents. The woman can cook, bake, groom her dog, create masterpieces out of sand dollars, turn songs into tributes for birthday, holiday, anniversary, paint, draw. I mean, I can't say enough about my dear Cara. So shout out to Creative Cara, lovemyartist.etsy.com. You can find all of these subscribers. Their links, art can be found in the podcast description, just so you know. And moving right along, Lisa Roberts Carbello. Hi, Lisa. Hope you're having a great holiday time. Haven't seen you since I don't know when. Um the woman is always traveling, spending time with friends and family, always going, but has a heart of gold. So shout out to subscriber Lisa. Next up, we have Mr. AKA Mike Kaufman. Thank you for believing in me and supporting me and the majority of the time listening to me and usually giving some sort of feedback. Next up, we have Roger. Roger, thank you for being a loyal subscriber. Hope the holidays bring joy, love, peace, laughter, dancing, good food, good cooking, good baking, all the things that you love. Winning car shows, all of it. I hope that the holidays are good to you and bring new endeavors. Next up we have Jeff Para. Jeff Para, thank you so much for being a loyal subscriber. I see the sprinter life has been good to you. I've seen a lot of road trips with uh a significant other that I haven't had the pleasure of meeting in person. Maybe I have at one of the venues, one of the music venues. Maybe I've had the pleasure of meeting her, but not really having a lengthy conversation. Anyway, it's good to see you happy, my friend. I'm glad that you are enjoying life and spending time with people who value you. And Kyle Fhew, Dr. Kyle, Professor Kyle, thank you for being a loyal listener, a loyal subscriber. I appreciate you, Anna Moore, in so many ways in your ideas, suggestions, financial support, listening to the podcast, leaving commentary.

SPEAKER_00: 14:43

I just want to say I'm so grateful for you.

SPEAKER_01: 14:51

Uh next up we have Angie Germer. Angie Germer is of Thrive Lavelle. If you are looking for all natural supplements that fill the nutritional gaps, you need energy, you need help going to the bathroom, you need a healthy gut biome, you want to lose weight, you want to bulk up. Angie is your go-to girl through Thrive Lavelle. And again, these links can be found in the podcast description.

SPEAKER_00: 15:34

So shout out to Angie. Hmm. Wanna make sure I don't leave anyone out. Uh, not that I can think of right now. Anyway, um, as far as listeners, Andrew, Travis, Dory, me, my daughter, sometimes my daughter's friends, Rain and um her bestie, Carly. Sometimes my daughter, Brooklyn.

SPEAKER_01: 16:25

It just kind of depends on their mood and if they're not busy, and so yeah. Hmm, well, that's really all I have for you this evening, folks. Sorry to be so boring and just ramble on about nonsense. I will give you a recap update for my loyal listeners who have been listening. It appears, although I haven't really been here enough to totally observe, but it appears Woody the Woodpecker has flown the coop. Fingers crossed, fingers and toes crossed, because that is too much. Supposedly they're taking all of our stuff down and painting it with some sort of citrus oil. I'd love to know how you're gonna paint citrus oil on wood and concrete and get this woody woodpecker to stay away. But stay tuned. And these are the days of our lives. Also, Kermit the Frag. Kermit the Frag? Yeah. Kermit the Frog continues to reside also outside our home. So, yes, the plot thickens. Who will stay? Who will go? Anyway, thank you all for tuning in, listening, commenting. I really appreciate all of you. Uh, I think I'm on my 96th or 97th episode now. So 100th episode will be a big to-do anniversary style. I'll go on camera. I'll make sure I'm looking my best for all my peeps and my loyal listeners. And hmm, what else? I think that's it. I think that's all I have. Uh, I'll be back on Wednesday, I believe, even though that'll be Christmas Eve. It might just be to pop in to say Merry Christmas Eve. Hope that you have a happy and safe holiday. I would like to encourage you, since it is the holiday season, no matter what you celebrate, Hanukkah or Christmas or you know, whatever you subscribe to that you're just go out there and be kind and don't be afraid to pay it forward because 'tis the season. And you know, a little smile or kindness to some random stranger goes a long way. You might actually make their day. So I hope that you will think that and consider that. Thank you all for tuning in. Thank you for listening. And until Christmas Eve, ciao for now.