From Gaslighting to Boundaries: A Practical Guide to Emotional Manipulation

Ever walked away from a conversation feeling smaller, confused, or guilty without knowing why? We put words to that fog. This Mindful Monday dives into emotional manipulation—the subtle tactics that chip away at self-trust—and offers practical, calm ways to respond without losing yourself in the process.

We start by naming what’s really happening: gaslighting that twists facts, guilt trips that weaponize kindness, love bombing that rushes intimacy, and the silent treatment that turns your nervous system into a bargaining chip. From there, we unpack the red flags most people overlook—over-apologizing, walking on eggshells, rationalizing bad behavior—and explain why empathic, team-first folks often get caught in these loops. You’ll hear simple, usable language for boundary setting, examples of I-statements that de-escalate, and a clear breakdown of the gray rock method so you can sidestep emotional bait without freezing or fighting.

We also talk about trusting your gut, gathering support, and knowing when it’s time to step back or walk away. If you’ve wondered whether you’re “too sensitive” or just tired of feeling responsible for someone else’s storms, this conversation meets you with clarity and compassion. Along the way, we invite you into the community: share what you’ve experienced, which tactics you’ve seen, and what boundary you’re ready to set next. Your story might be the perspective someone else needs to hear.

If this helped, tap follow, share it with a friend who could use a steady voice, and leave a quick review to help more listeners find these tools. Your engagement shapes future topics—tell us what you want next and we’ll build it together.

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome, Updates, and Guest Invite
• 1:21 Introducing Emotional Manipulation
• 2:21 Why This Topic Matters Now
• 5:01 Common Manipulation Tactics Explained
• 9:05 Signs You’re Being Manipulated
• 11:21 Boundaries and Calm Communication
• 13:21 Gray Rock, Instincts, and Support
• 15:05 Walking Away and Listener Poll
• 16:30 Community Shoutouts and Resources
• 21:10 How to Engage and Support the Show
• 22:40 Closing and Next Episode Tease

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:00

Wow wow What's up party people? Thank you for tuning in to another episode of L Kivade Your Life. I am your hostess with the most S. L is in the letter L and key as in the key to your heart. Well, I know I've been MIA for uh last week. You didn't hear from me. Apologies. Uh one, I'm looking to have some more guests on my show, so feel free to message me, text in the chat, respond to the message, uh, respond to the podcast if you would like to be a guest on the show. And so that's one of the reasons I've been MIA, but two, I didn't want to come on and just talk about some unnecessary fluff. Uh yeah, quite honestly, there's been a lot going on. Uh, a lot going on in the household work, didn't want to just ramble on about nothing. Um, so let's get into it. Welcome to another episode of Mindful Monday. So, tonight I want to talk about something that I've seen a lot in social media and has been swirling around. I've been hearing a lot of people talk about it. And I want to ask my listeners, how many of you out there have heard of emotional manipulation? And if you have, by all means, please respond to the podcast. There's an opportunity where it will say text in your comments or text in your thoughts. And I would love to hear a poll on how many of you have heard about this. So, emotional manipulation, for those of you that don't know, is a form of psychological abuse where a person uses indirect and deceptive tactics to control or influence another person's emotions, thoughts, and behavior for their own benefit. It can be subtle and insidious process that erodes a victim's self-esteem and perception of reality over time. So the reason I'm talking about this is uh, you know, I the whole reason I got into podcasting is because people would come to me with their thoughts, their ideas, then ask for advice, etc. So I definitely have my share of friends who come to me with you know their struggles. And you know, as women, men are from Mars, women are from Venus, as women, we all know that we need to vent out our feelings, right? So it's something that we women do, not just talking to a counselor, but venting to our friends about how our day was or something that happened to them that affected them and they need to get off their chest. Something with a coworker, a colleague, a friend, a family member, whatever it is. Well, anyway, this topic has come up a lot. I feel like every time I go on social media, whether it's Facebook or Instagram, that it's there. And so I wanted to talk about it because I feel like it's prevalent in not just stuff that's going on in my friends' lives, but I can say that I have felt this and experienced this. So uh just to elaborate more on the emotional manipulation, there are common tactics of emotional manipulators. And emotional manipulation is often driven by a need for power and control. And so I wanted to share with you some of the common tactics. Because maybe you don't even know that it's happening, maybe you didn't even know this is this was the thing, or that you this is what you are experiencing. So I thought I would shed some light on the topic. So, number one, gaslighting, making someone question their own sanity, memory, or perception of reality by lying, denying things they said, or twisting the facts. The next one is guilt tripping, using a person's sense of guilt or duty to get them to do something. This often involves statements like, After all I've done for you, this is how you repay me. Then we move along to playing the victim, exaggerating their own suffering to gain sympathy or to deflect blame for their actions. This can manipulate others into feeling responsible for their happiness. Silent treatment, using silence or withdrawal of communication as a punishment to make the other person feel anxious, rejected, and powerless. Love bombing, showering a new partner with excessive affection, flattery, and gifts to create an intense sense of connection and obligation early in a relationship. Exploiting insecurities, using a person's known weaknesses or fears against them. Manipulators often appear to know your buttons and don't hesitate to push them for personal gain. Blame shifting, refusing to take responsibility for their behavior, and instead shifting the fault onto the victim. This makes the victim question their own actions. Minimization, downplaying or dismissing a person's feelings or experiences. They may say things like, you're overreacting, or it's not a big deal when you try to express your hurt. I can't tell you how much I can relate to all of these things. And the more I see things on social media and read them, the more I realize, oh, I've definitely experienced these things. And if you're wondering or feeling like you can relate to some of this, I want to go on to give you signs that you are being emotionally, emotionally manipulated. Because sometimes we're so caught up in our own feelings or thoughts that we don't even realize something's happening. It might take us talking to a counselor or a friend or somebody else in a relationship, or you know, it might take somebody else to bring this to your attention. So signs you are being emotionally manipulated. It can be difficult to recognize manipulation because it's often subtle and can even be unintentional. Signs that you are being manipulated include feeling emotionally drained or anxious after interacting with the person, questioning your own judgment and perception of reality, constantly apologizing even when you know you did nothing wrong, feeling like you are walking on eggshells, afraid to upset the other person, making excuses for their behavior and rationalizing their actions to others or yourself. Justifying your own actions out of guilt or fear, feeling compelled to do things out of a sense of obligation, responsibility, or fear rather than genuine desire. I can honestly say that I have experienced these on multiple occasions, and I'm glad that I took the time to read these things that I see on social media and honestly look into it and read about it because all the while I'm experiencing these things, I had no idea until recently that that's what this was. Anyway, I know this is supposed to be alchivate your life, but part of the way I elquivate your life is to educate you in things that you may not be aware that are happening to you. Uh, you know, to empower you with information and to help you learn not only, you know, have information because information is power, right? But also to learn strategies on preventing this from going on any further. So speaking of, you know, strategies, it talks about, you know, you gotta set clear boundaries. I mean, it sounds so easy to set clear boundaries, but it's not always easy for well, even someone like myself. I'm an empath, I don't like confrontation. I want to make sure that I'm being a team player and making everyone happy, but you know, as far as setting clear boundaries, like define what's acceptable and unacceptable behavior and communicate these boundaries clearly and be prepared for the manipulator to test these limits and be firm in enforcing them. Focus on I statements when you're communicating, focus on your feelings rather than accusing the other person. For example, say, I feel disrespected when you dismiss my feelings instead of you always ignore my feelings. This is such a common thing that happens amongst people. It's hard to remember to say I. I certainly am guilty of it, and I know it's something that I continue to learn and practice. Refuse to be drawn into the drama. Manipulators thrive on your emotional reactions. Refusing to engage in arguments and staying calm and not taking their actions personally can remove their power. Practice the gray rock method. This strategy involves making yourself as uninteresting as a gray rock when a manipulator tries to provoke you. It means disengaging from the emotional bait and responding minimally and factually. Listen to your instincts. If a person or situation makes you feel uneasy, anxious, or confused, trust that feeling. That is your intuition identifying a problematic dynamic. Seek support from others, talk to trusted friends, family, or a therapist. An outside perspective can help you see the situation clearly and validate your experiences. And know when to walk away. If the manipulation is persistent and harmful, it may be necessary to limit or end contact with the person to protect your mental and emotional health. Hallelujah. Amen to that. Can I get an amen in the house? So, me personally, I have sorry for a moment there. Chanel was trying to hijack the podcast. So just a little brief pause there to get her from stop to stop barking at the neighborhood dogs going by. Anyway, I would love to ask your thoughts and opinions on this. How many of you have experienced this type of behavior? And if you did, were you aware that that's what it was you're experiencing? And if you are, or if you have, did you know about these strategies? How to respond to emotional manipulation? I would like to encourage you and invite you to please chime in. As most of my listeners know, you have the ability, it will say somewhere in the podcast, that if you have any thoughts or ideas or want to comment, that you can text in your thoughts or comments or opinions. Uh, I welcome that because that only makes me better, but it also gives me an idea of what my listeners want. So remember to do that. Also, remember to like, share, and subscribe. And if you are so inclined to become a subscriber, you can do so for as little as a cup of coffee or as much as a happy meal. And the link is in the context of all of my podcasts. I would really like to hear the feedback from my listeners. Have you experienced this? And if you have, what have you done about it? Or are you just now hearing what to do about it? I would love to hear your thoughts. So, as always, I want to make sure that I thank my lovely subscribers, starting with Mike Kaufman. Thank you for subscribing to my channel. Appreciate you. Kara lovemyartist.com. Thank you for being a loyal listener and a loyal subscriber. I really appreciate you. Guys, if you haven't checked out her Etsy page, check it out. I'm constantly talking about how she has an array of various different talents on there from her own personal artwork, painting, t-shirts. Uh, most recently, she has these very sweet, cute original video montages. And it's accompanied usually by music, and usually she puts something together. So it could be a birthday, an anniversary, a proposal. Um, maybe you want to ask someone to be your best man or your maid of honor, whatever. If you check out her page, lovemyartist.etsy.com, you'll see what I mean. And be sure to use hashtag elkievate so that you get a little discount. And I can't remember the discount that she's running right now. It might be, I don't know, 5%, 10%. But hey, it's worth it. The girl is uber talented. I can't say enough about all of her things that are on her page. I'm still stocking the purple, black and white zebra boots that I want for fall, winter, which is here. And it has a matching laptop bag that, and all of this stuff is in quality real leather from Italy. So it's good quality stuff. Same with her artwork and the various different clothing items and everything. She really pours her heart and soul into it. So check out her page, lovemyartist.y.com. Shout out to you, Cara. Thank you for being a loyal listener, subscriber, commenter, etc. Next up, Lisa Roberts Corbello. Thank you so much for being a loyal listener, follower, subscriber. It was so great to see you over the weekend, and I'm looking forward to your upcoming November birthday and celebrating with you and all the gang. Next, we have Angie Germer. Angie Germer of Thrive Lavelle. If you're looking to lose weight or you are looking to maintain your weight, maybe you're looking for energy, maybe you are looking for something all natural. Well, Angie Germer is your girl. Thrive Lavelle are the products, and basically, all of these products fill the nutritional gaps. And all of all of these people that I'm mentioning, you will be able to find in every one of my podcast episodes. You just have to look in the content page, and you'll be able to find their links. And of course, Jeff Para, Namaste. Haven't seen you or talked to you in a while, buddy. Hope you're doing well. Glad to see you're out living sprinter life and enjoying traveling, having enjoyable, memorable moments, creating new memories with your girl. Happy for you about that. Thank you to Kyle Few. Kyle Few, also the author of Commitment to Love, Love is a Verb, found on Amazon Audible. And yes, thank you for being a loyal listener and subscriber and always sharing your thoughts, ideas, opinions, and feedback. And again, I just want to remind all of you, I am here for you, my listeners. So the only way I grow, learn, evolve is with the with your help. So please remember to like the episode after after you've listened to it. Please remember to comment your thoughts. Could you relate to this information? Was it relatable? Have you experienced this? Did you know that's what it was? Were you aware that there are these strategies? Oh my god, before I forget, shout out to Roger, Roger Havens. Thank you for being a supportive listener and always sending uplifting, encouraging information that helps me when I'm having a tough day. I really appreciate you. Thank you so much. Shout out to Damien who occasionally listens to my pod. Thank you. I appreciate you. So, listeners, remember it helps the algorithm if you like, comment, and subscribe. Thank you for tuning in. Thank you for listening. And I'll check in with you on Wisdom Wellness Wednesday. Until then, ciao for now.