Dating in 2025: Traditions, Rules and Modern Love 042125

• Dating might seem straightforward, but the modern landscape of romance has evolved into a complex territory where traditional values meet contemporary expectations. What happens when time-honored advice like "if they like you, they'll make time for you" collides with the reality of dating apps and changing social norms?

• Drawing from conversations with friends navigating the dating scene, personal experience, and extensive research (including a fascinating rabbit hole into Reddit dating advice), this episode unpacks several universal dating principles that transcend generational differences. From the significance of someone saving a Saturday night for you as a sign of genuine interest to the controversial 90-day rule for physical intimacy, we explore what these guidelines reveal about compatibility and intention in relationships.

• Chivalry emerges as a particularly interesting topic – is holding doors and walking on the street side of the sidewalk outdated, or do these gestures represent timeless respect? Having been raised with traditional values myself, I share perspectives on why certain courtesies shouldn't be dismissed as old-fashioned. Similarly, we tackle the often awkward question of who pays on dates, suggesting that whoever extends the invitation should generally expect to cover costs unless explicitly discussed otherwise.

• The most valuable advice might be creating your own dating "vision board" – a clear picture of your non-negotiables, preferences, and deal-breakers that helps you manifest relationships aligned with your authentic needs rather than settling for immediate availability. Whether you're actively dating or supporting someone who is, these insights offer a thoughtful framework for approaching romance with intention and self-respect.

What are your thoughts on modern dating? Do you value chivalry, or are you more focused on equality? Share your perspectives in the comments and help continue this important conversation about how we connect in meaningful ways.

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome to Elkivate Your Life
• 2:16 Lottery Winner and Easter Reflections
• 5:20 Dating Advice and Fun Facts
• 12:15 Chivalry in Modern Dating
• 18:16 The 90-Day Rule and Deal Breakers
• 26:45 Shoutouts and Closing Thoughts

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Oh, chicka, wow, wow, what's up? Party people, welcome to another episode of Elkivate your Life. I am your hostess, with the mostess L as in the letter L, and key as in the key to your heart, and key as in the key to your heart. Thank you for joining me on this Mindful Monday. How is everyone doing this evening?

Speaker 1: 0:43

It is Monday, april 21st, and you know I didn't know what I was going to talk about until I did so. Did I already say L as in the letter L, and key as in the key to your heart? Oh, my gosh, that's the kind of day it's been, okay, well, anyway, l is in the letter L, and key as in the key to your heart. So let's get into it. Ladies and gentlemen, so I didn't know what I was going to talk about. One I wanted to share with you a crazy little, just a little tidbit is that there was a $183,000 lottery ticket that was purchased in a nearby town of Livermore and the winner has not come forward yet. I guess they're not watching the news or keeping up with it, or didn't think much of it, or maybe they don't regularly purchase lottery tickets, I don't know, but apparently they got five of the numbers right. So lucky Livermore winner. Hello, I hope I bump into you. Maybe you can buy me a drink, or Maybe you can buy me a drink or treat me to a coffee, or even though I can't really have coffee and I'm not really supposed to, but that's another story. So let's get into it.

Speaker 1: 2:16

Tonight I'm going to be talking about dating. And why am I talking about dating? You ask, elkie, what do you know about dating? You're married, you've been almost married, going on two years now, may 20th and what do you know about dating? Well, I'll tell you Interestingly enough. I'll tell you interestingly enough. I have some thoughts and opinions, but also I read, I research, and I have friends that are dating, and so, between having the friends and talking to them and hearing their feedback, and then doing a little bit of reading and research of my own, I found some interesting, fun facts that I want to share with all of you. So let's get into it, but before we do, I want to ask everybody how was your Easter? What did you do for Easter? I know I talk about that.

Speaker 1: 3:26

I don't want to talk about politics or religion because, as my near and dear friend, practically family I mean we consider each other, family, family. We say I don't want to talk about politics or religion. Why? Because politics and religion divide us and love unites us, and I have to say I am in total agreement with that. It just does, and so, if I can avoid talking about those topics, I will. On the same note, I want to talk about Easter and tell you I was raised Christian only because my mother grew up a strict Catholic and she didn't want to force those opinions or views on me because as she grew older, and I mean after she was like, out have the choice. So I do believe in a higher power and I don't know, I guess, talking to someone who doesn't go to church or believe or anything like that, I have friends of all walks of life from you know all different opinions.

Speaker 1: 5:09

Do you have to be religious to celebrate Easter? Hmm, I don't know. I think it depends on the person, the family, the. I mean you could still celebrate Easter. It doesn't mean you have to go to church, right? You could still celebrate Easter. Maybe you go out to lunch, brunch, have a special dinner or have special traditions. You don't necessarily pray or go to church, I guess. So that's how we'll sum it up.

Speaker 1: 5:44

Well, I'll tell you, my Easter I had the pleasure of joining my daughter, brooklyn, her boyfriend Ajay, prince and Michelle and their baby and daddy, and it was lovely. We had an Easter brunch and I spent time with them. I hadn't met an Easter brunch and I spent time with them. I hadn't met Prince and Michelle and so, um, or their baby, I'm, I'm I'm kind of keeping his name a secret because maybe they don't want me to share and, uh, because you know they're new parents and I I want to respect them and their wishes and beliefs and their privacy. Uh, but we had a lovely Easter brunch at their home where they live, and it was a nice day. It was a different tradition.

Speaker 1: 6:37

So I always like to ask people about traditions, because traditions were fairly important in growing up, like we always went to grandma's house, especially for the big occasions like Thanksgiving and Christmas, easter as well, and with my kids, I did try to carry on some traditions. With my kids, I did try to carry on some traditions, like with my son, we always saw the Harry Potter movies together, or Spider-Man movies, or I took them to the pumpkin patch or you know certain things, halloween. There was definitely certain things that we did traditionally. So I do like to think that tradition is nice to have in a family unit and I do feel that it can bring you closer together. Those are my thoughts and opinions.

Speaker 1: 7:38

So, moving on to dating, so I have a handful of single friends that are dating and share just bits and pieces about their experiences or what it's like to date online. You're on, if you're dating on Hinge or Tinder or Grindr or Plenty of Fish. You get the idea right. You get the idea right, anyway. So I did a little reading and research and I came up with some interesting, fun facts that I wanted to share, and it was basically just a list of a couple of questions that I thought were pretty relative and relevant and important and I wanted to share and also ask your thoughts and opinions.

Speaker 1: 9:00

So, number one dating advice people tell you who they are. Trust them. Interesting. Do people tell you who they are and should you trust them? I guess it depends on is it a speed dating situation, are you on your first date and it's a dinner, or is it coffee, is it lunch, is it brunch? I mean, yeah, I found that one really interesting. People tell you who they are. Trust them. Something to think about for my single friends out there. I hope you're listening. Number two you can't be interesting until someone is interested. It can't be interesting until someone is interested. I guess you could look at that a couple of different ways, right, because I feel like you could be an interesting person and you haven't met the right person that's interested, right? I feel like that's a loaded question.

Speaker 1: 10:19

Number three if they like you, they'll make time for you. This is so true and so resonates with me. I have some friends that are in the dating pool, as I mentioned, and they're like well, they didn't ask me out for Friday or Saturday night, but they wanted to have coffee on a Wednesday. I'm like, okay, they're too busy, or they're in another relationship or just dating all these other people, I don't know. I think, yeah, if they like you, they'll make time for you. Absolutely. To quote the queen that I watched religiously, patty Stanger of the Matchmaker, if he saves a Saturday night for you, he's interested, and I think that there definitely is truth to that. So, yeah, if they like you, they'll make time for you. If they're trying to squeeze you in on some off day, and it's not on the weekend and it's a morning or a day date.

Speaker 1: 11:34

What do we think? They're workaholics. They're cheaters, liars, dating way too many other people. I mean, yeah, I think it's. I think it's pretty accurate. I, I I'm so looking forward to hearing the comments and feedback I get from this episode, because I think this is really interesting.

Speaker 1: 12:01

And the last one is it's a game of compatibility and honesty, nothing else. Well, yes, I do think that there's truth to that. You have to date someone that you're compatible with and let's hope they're being honest with you. Lord knows, or? Yes, take out that. Yes, Take out that Everybody knows if you datingship, whatever you want to call it. I definitely think so. So then I dove even deeper and be careful friends out there, because not only did I read and research, but I went down the black hole of dating advice through Reddit. I almost feel like I shouldn't be telling you this, but then I kind of think well, you know what? Yeah, it's pretty relevant. I mean, it's good information for you single people out there to read.

Speaker 1: 13:34

So some of the interesting questions is is it reasonable to be turned off by a guy who has paid for sex in the past? What is it with the women and men's hands. Are the hands the female version of boobs? Uh, he made a sexist joke about women and I immediately blocked him. Okay, that's fair. One day she was all in. The next day she ended it. Hmm, interesting. Can someone explain this girl to me, or what is going on inside her mind? Is it too desperate to ask him for sex? Why is advice so different on age gaps when gender is switched? Hmm, that's an interesting one.

Speaker 1: 14:38

Well, one of the things I talked about in my video that I want to talk about in this audio being my age 56, my mother being raised a strict Catholic schoolgirl, which I know all of you are going, oh, the Catholic schoolgirls are the worst, whatever. You can all have your thoughts or opinions or jokes, whatever. But she would tell me because of the era that she was brought up in and raised in, is that the man comes to the door to pick up the lady. He doesn't honk his horn from the car and the man opens the door for you. The man pulls out your chair for you. Maybe he even orders at a restaurant for you, if you're so inclined Like. Maybe he asks what would you like to eat and I'll order for both of us or the other one that I remember that stood out to me was you never carry your own luggage. The man walks on the outside when you're walking on a public street. The man walks on the outside when you're walking on a public street. And I have to say that, yes, because they are to protect and provide. That is the era that she grew up in and that those are some of the important things that she instilled in me, and I talk about this all the time, even at school.

Speaker 1: 16:14

I say chivalry is not dead. And I know to you youngsters out there that are listening, you're like chivalry, what is that? Okay, well, it's being a gentleman, it's being respectful. Being a gentleman, it's being respectful, it's respecting the ladies, the women, the girls I won't use the other terms that I hear in school or in music, but it's just being polite and respectful. And so oftentimes I will say to the kids at school chivalry is not dead. Like, if I am trying, if I'm going in a classroom and you are ahead of me, sometimes these guys will just open the door for themselves and not hold the door open for me, but then, on the rare occasion, there will be the young men that will hold the door open for me, or open the door for me or let me go first, things like that. So I do think that times they are a changing right world now.

Speaker 1: 17:30

On paying Dutch, or like who pays, who pays when you're asked out on the date? Well, that's the other thing. If the man asked me out, then the man is going to pay because he asked me out, unless we establish an agreement of, okay, this isn't a date and we're going Dutch, which is like you're paying for you and I'm paying for me. That's where I think the communication has to be there. You have to establish some boundaries. And again, I think it has to do with. It has to do with how you were raised, the era, the time the who raised you, how did your parents raise you? Because there's the idea of equality and women's lib and all of that. But then there's also just because that you know, single mom here up until I got married recently, even though I might be an independent woman, that doesn't mean I don't want you to open the door for me and pull out the chair and ask me what would you like to eat? I will order for you.

Speaker 1: 18:48

I appreciate those things and I think that those are respectful and chivalrous. Um, if I'm cold in a movie theater, I hope you brought a jacket to keep me warm. It's actually something I give my husband a hard time about sometimes, to be quite honest, because we'll go somewhere and I'm like where's your jacket? And he goes right, here I go. Uh, that's not a jacket, that's a sweatshirt. And what if your woman gets cold? You are not prepared.

Speaker 1: 19:20

Anyway, just thoughts and opinions, but I would love to know what are yours? What are your thoughts, what are your opinions on this dating world that we are in here in 2025, on this mindful monday? Oh yes. And then there were some about I don't mind paying for the lady, but I don't want to be a walking wallet. Okay, that's fair. Should probably talk about it, right? Uh, like, we've gone on this many dates. Can we split the bill? Can you pay the tip? Whatever?

Speaker 1: 20:01

The other thing that I wanted to share with you, that I shared in my video, was that I talked about the 90-day rule Thank you, steve Harvey and the book the Rules, where it talks about waiting 90 days before being intimate. Some of you may agree or disagree. Like, I'm not gonna. Who wants to buy the cow if you can get the milk for free. There's that saying, but then there's the other people that are like well, the flip side of that coin is what about getting to know the person before becoming intimate with them? Because we as women are emotional creatures and men are more logical most of the time, and so if you jump into that situation too soon and the sex is great, you might get lost in the sex and not really know what this guy is about. You might not know if you're compatible with him. You might not know if they are emotionally intelligent or if you have the same interests or hobbies or what. If you are looking for a long-term relationship, you hop into bed, you have great sex, but outside of that you have nothing to talk about. Nothing to talk about. I guess you're just having sex with this person until you move on and you start over.

Speaker 1: 21:49

So a lot of interesting twists and turns that I ran across in reading about dating. Dating Another one that was mentioned oh, this guy put on his profile that dating and looking for a relationship, but doesn't want to think about blending families because that could be a challenge. Maybe this one and done would prove to be a lot. And he was like I'm good, I don't want to have any other kids. My child requires all of this attention and I don't want to take on any more or bite off more than I can chew, or I don't know, maybe he wanted that one child to be the center of the universe and not have to divvy up the responsibilities, who knows?

Speaker 1: 22:59

Then there was another one that I found kind of interesting, which was what if the guy or girl says they don't want to date anybody with cats? Okay, maybe they're allergic, maybe they're not a cat person. Personally, I'm an animal person, so I enjoy cats, dogs, lizards, snakes, spiders, spiders. I mean, keep them in a cage, mind you. But yes, I have a love for animals. So I will say if you have a dog that sheds, I might have some requests about that. And thank you very much. Chanel is hypoallergenic and so I appreciate the fact that she does not shed, so she can lay next to me. She can. I don't have to worry about her hair getting on my clothes and all over everything, my clothes and all over everything. So maybe the person said didn't like cats or didn't want to date anybody with cats because they weren't a cat person. Maybe they were a dog person, maybe they're allergic, I mean so many things you have to consider, right?

Speaker 1: 24:18

I will end on this note that I think, when you're dating and you're finding your likes and dislikes and your deal breakers and your okay, I'll work with this or I'll work with that that you should start to create a list for yourself of your do's, don'ts, likes, dislikes, deal breakers. Think of it as a vision board. You are creating a vision of what you are looking for, who you are looking for, the type of person that you want to date, and you have to have a vision that matches that. And I think, if you have a list or a vision board, that will help you in your dating and also help you to manifest what it is you're looking for. What are your thoughts? I would love to hear them because, as I said, I have friends out there dating a variety of different age groups and different generations, so different beliefs, lifestyles, opinions, and so I would love to hear what your thoughts are and like do you care about chivalry or are you like, nah, they don't really need to pull out my chair, open my door? Are those things important to you? Do you think that the 90-day rule is relevant, or are you like? No, I can separate the two, but I need to know if the physical chemistry is there or not. I don't know. I think it can cloud your judgment. Ladies, I think I would be careful with that. One again, just my thoughts and opinions.

Speaker 1: 26:33

I am not a relationship expert by any means. I have read a lot of books. I did follow the 90-day rule, have read a lot of books. I did follow the 90 day rule. I do think that it made an impact, because you're going to weed out the ones that are like 90 days. Are you kidding me? Ain't, no way. I've had those conversations, but then I've had 90 days worth of weight, you know. So it'll be interesting to read the comments and the feedback on this one.

Speaker 1: 27:13

Well, as always, I'd like to thank all of my listeners and subscribers. So shout out to Kyle Few of Commitment to Love. Love is a verb, since we're talking about dating, which could hopefully lead to love. Right book on Amazon, on Audible, and Kyle Few P-H-E-W, and I want to recommend this book not just to the singles, but also the relationshipers the ones that are looking for a relationship, the ones that are in a relationship maybe you're coming out of a relationship, the ones that are in a relationship maybe you're coming out of a relationship and or the singles, and to also learn about yourself and self-love, so important. Moving right along to Lisa Roberts Curbelo, thank you. Thank you for being a loyal subscriber. I appreciate you, I admire you, I respect you. This woman is an excellent mother, just such a worldly admirable woman. So shout out to Lisa Roberts Curbelo.

Speaker 1: 28:42

On that note, I want to say I always refer to Kyle as a friend, but he really is like family as long as we've known each other, and I often refer to him as Dr Kyle or Professor Kyle, because he is the one I turn to, looking for wisdom and knowledge, and he, like me, loves to read, research, is constantly learning, and I just admire and respect that so much. So moving right along to Jeff Parra, namaste, jeff Parra is an old friend. Actually, I met him, interestingly enough, via social media. Yes, although we found ourselves not being a love connection, really admire and respect his interest for knowledge. Music taught me how to meditate, or instilled some additional steps in meditation, about taking off your shoes and going out and standing in the earth and learning how to ground yourself and connect yourself with mother earth, which I found so interesting and it really does elevate your meditation technique. And then, of course, mike Kaufman.

Speaker 1: 30:28

Mike Kaufman, also known as the water salesman. Shout out to Ready Fresh, alhambra, saratoga. Take your pick. They sell a variety of products, waters Also, my hubby, thank you. Thank you for all of you for being loyal subscribers, listeners, commenting, supporting my passion project. I appreciate you.

Speaker 1: 31:15

And to all you prospective sponsors, I do hope that you will consider me. I am actively videoing on YouTube, so growing my audience on YouTube and looking to merge the video with audio. Haven't figured out what platform yet, still researching that but I do want to invite you. If you have a small business or you're local in the community, I would love to help promote your business. Oh, shout out. By the way, speaking of duh, shout out to Persimmon Dental, located in the Persimmon Plaza in Dublin. Shout out to Dr Lamb, to Teresa, to all of the staff at persimmon dental that can offer you a family experience. They are welcoming, gentle, efficient, thorough and yeah, I've been going to them, gosh several years now and I highly recommend them. So if you are looking for a new dentist, hashtag Elkivate Be sure to share that with them so that they know that you went there because of little all me and thank you for tuning in.

Speaker 1: 32:44

Thank you for listening. Be sure to like, follow share on my YouTube channel. I'm also on Apple, spotify, podcastle, deezer, amazon Music, soundcloud a variety of other podcast platforms. I do hope that you will like, subscribe, follow share and I am looking forward to hearing. What did you do for Easter? What are your traditions? Do you have any? But also, what did you think about this episode of dating tips and the four questions to consider? Hmm, looking forward to hearing from you. Ciao, for now.