Choosing Yourself Comes First

We revisit the theme of choosing yourself first with a quick, candid check-in and answer listener questions about mixed signals, busy schedules, and mismatched communication styles. We share simple scripts for asking directly, setting boundaries, and finding alignment without drama.

• recap of choosing yourself first and self-assurance in relationships
• generational differences in communication preferences
• how to respond to slow replies and ghosting
• practical scripts to clarify interest and cadence
• navigating public anxiety, work conflicts, and cultural gaps
• shifting from people-pleasing to clear boundaries
• asking for alignment when needs and goals change
• community shoutouts, sponsor mentions, and gratitude

Please remember to like, subscribe, comment, and share. It helps the algorithm. It helps me get my name and my voice out there so that I can help people on a larger scale

Chapters

• 0:00 Rushed Check-In And Life Update
• 1:17 Recap: Choose Yourself First
• 2:40 Generational Views On Communication
• 4:00 Listener Question: No Text Back
• 6:00 Defining Communication Preferences
• 8:20 More Listener Scenarios To Tackle
• 10:30 Boundaries, Alignment, And Changing Needs
• 12:00 Shoutouts And Community Support
• 14:10 Sponsors, Deals, And Platform Growth
• 18:30 Gratitude And Closing

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:00

Uh party people boun chicka wow wow. Thank you for tuning in to another episode of LQate Your Life. I am your hostess with the most design L and key as in the key to your heart. Uh, if I sound rushed, it's because I am. Tonight is a very busy, crazy night for me, ladies and gents. Thank you for all tuning in. Thank you to my loyal listeners. If you're new, thank you for listening. Uh, the reason I sound rushed is today, kind of a crazy day at school. We had our staff friends giving that I'm recovering from, and then rush home to take my fur baby Chanel to the groomers. And after that, um, trying to record this podcast and then be done in time to go and do some sound bath yoga namaste. Think you would appreciate that, Jeff Para and Kyle Few. Anyway, so I am just gonna do kind of a recap. So the last episode I did with Mr. J, uh co-worker friend, we talked about choosing yourself first because your self-assurance will ensure love to last. Say that five times fast, will yeah? Anyway, the reason we talked about that basically I am the I think I'm a Gen Xer. I always forget this. I it's really hard for me to keep track, so forgive me. I believe I'm a Gen Xer, he's a Gen Zier. Um, I was born in 68. Anyway, um, and so we were just talking about how not to sacrifice your wants, likes, needs for your partner to be yourself and just communicate your needs with the person of interest. And if it's a match, then you will compromise. You and your partner will compromise on things, hopefully. Knock on wood. Let me knock on some wood right now. And so we got a lot of great feedback, a lot of questions. So there is going to be a follow-up episode. So I don't necessarily want to touch on the questions, but I do want to tell you, we saw your questions and your feedback. And Mr. J and I definitely want to be able to answer, for example, Andrew, my buddy Andrew, what should I do when I meet someone who doesn't text back or has difficulty communicating with me and others? And um, yes, I want to let I want to let Mr. J answer that one because he has the male perspective and he will say something different. Like I would say, if somebody doesn't text you back, that is a red flag or has difficulty communicating with me and others. What do you mean by that? What do you mean they have difficulty communicating with you and others? Meaning they just are not good at communication in general, they're not good at text, there's a language barrier, is there a culture difference? Uh, can you elaborate on that question? Which is why when I ask for feedback, I say share your experiences and or your questions so we may address them in the best and most thorough possible way. So, Andrew, know that I am reading your question and I want to reply to it, but I feel like Mr. J should do this one. So hopefully he and I can do an episode next Monday, or I will touch base with him and ask him his thoughts and opinions, and I'll make it a point to send him tonight's episode. Mr. J, what is your advice? What should Andrew do when he meets someone who doesn't text back or has difficulty communicating with me and others? To me, not texting back, you know, the whole ghosting thing doesn't fly with me. I think that that's a red flag. I think I would be like, hello, is was it not a love connection? Are you not a texter? Do you prefer a phone call? You know, um, what is your preference in communication? That's that's where my mind goes. But I'm a woman and I'm a communicator, so I don't know. Or is it a cultural difference? Is it a language barrier? Is there an age gap? Is it they're ghosting you because they're not interested? I mean, there's so there's a million answers to this question, but I want to make sure I give you the right one, the most sound one. I would start with, hey, I've tried reaching out to you a couple times via calling or texting and I haven't heard back. Um, you know, is there a lack of interest? Question mark. Um do you prefer another means of communication? Question mark. And I'm saying question mark in case you are texting, but or if you're calling, I don't know. If you're calling, are you leaving a voicemail asking these questions? Because I would. But that's me. That's how I handle things. And I'll just give you an example. Uh, the Mr., as I call him, my mister. Uh he is not, he is not a person that calls people, he's a texter. He loves to post things on social media, Facebook and Instagram, and loves to text people. But uh, when's the last time I saw him on the phone with the conversation? Maybe when he was talking to his nephew Jake about some exciting news about one of Jake's football games, or you know, if it's pertaining to sports, there might be a phone conversation in there. Other than that, yeah, no. So, anyway, um that's my take on your question, Andrew. Uh, I was hoping to hear more feedback from my other male listeners. Uh, shout out to Bags at 79. Finally, a male perspective. I think the best relationships are the ones that don't put so many expectations on it. Just accept people for who they are and put God first. Avoid the internet, the grass is not greener on the other side. So just water your own side. And then it says you, and then I yeah, I guess I don't know what happened to that thought. Um, so thank you. Thank you for that commentary, Bags. Really appreciate it. I'm glad you enjoyed the male perspective. Uh, Andrew, what is the best solution I should come up with if I meet someone who's afraid of going out in public? Um, afraid of going out in public? I guess I would ask, well, where would you like to get together then? Uh, if not going out in public. Does that mean you want to visit each other's houses? Um, what should I do if I meet someone who wants to go out but is extremely busy with work? Uh well, you gotta be understanding. And I would pose the question, when are you not so busy with work? When's a convenient time for us to get together? Are you interested in getting together? And if not interested in going out in public, how can we get together? Propose ideas. Okay, would you like to come to my place? I can come to your place. Um, I don't know. These kind of feel like excuses to me, but I don't know these people you're talking about. And I don't want to make you feel bad for your situation. But a lot of people hide behind their tets and phone, and so um, I would love to get Mr. J's perspective on these. Uh, but Roger, I was hoping to hear some commentary from you. You always have great questions. And same with Michael Kaufman, uh, one of my loyal subscribers, aka Mr. Was hoping that you would pose some questions or feedback regarding this. So um we want to have the opportunity to respond to our audience, and I want you to get the male perspective and my perspective. So hopefully, Mr. J can show up for next Monday's podcast, either Monday or Wednesday, and we can address these things. But would really like to hear more from my audience as to what did you think of the episode? Did you learn anything? Do you do you agree that we as people, some of us are people pleasers and we just go along for the ride and we don't like confrontations. So we just, you know, uh let our significant other partner date, whatever you want to call them. Yeah, a lot of times we let them take the reins, and they're like, then we're like, oh, I wish I wouldn't have done that and left all the decisions to them because now I don't like this or whatever. It's never too late for you to speak up and ask for what you want. Discuss what you're looking for in each other, in a relationship, in a partnership, in a situationship. I think it's really good to have healthy boundaries and set guidelines and talk about what it is you're looking for and make sure that your interests align with one another, whether it's short-term, temporary, part-term, whatever, part-time, you know what I'm saying, right? I mean, even if it's a situation ship, sometimes we get feelings, we catch feelings, and then we're like, well, I know it was a situation ship, but now I want more. Um, so I think it's really important to communicate your needs, and if your needs change and your wants change, I think it's important to communicate that. Sorry, guys, I had to take a drink of water. Um as I mentioned, um rushing around, so this is gonna be a short but sweet check-in pod. So let me make sure I give a shout out to my loyal subscribers, Kara LovemyArtist.etsy.com. Check out our page. Her link is in my podcast description at all times. She has a lot of great things on her page. Um video, video montages for birthday, anniversary, uh, proposal, requesting to be best man or you know, maid of honor, or um, whatever you can think of. She's got them, she makes them. Um the other thing is she has paintings, she has clothing, she has artwork, um animal-friendly stuff. I mean, the woman is multi-talented, so she got a little bit of everything. So lovemyartist.edzy.com, check out Kara and her page. Um, yes, and she always has specials and deals, especially if you mention like hashtag elkivate your life or hashtag elkyvate, then they know that you heard about her page through us. And she's also on TikTok. You can find her there, you can find her artwork there, but um, obviously the Etsy page is where you would look at stuff in order. Let's see, who else? Jeff Potta, Namaste. Hope that you are doing well and staying zen on enjoying your life, vacationing when you can. Um, go Raiders, by the way. Let's see, Mike Kaufman. Thank you for being a loyal subscriber. I would really appreciate you liking this week's episodes. Uh guys, all you have to do is click the thumbs up button. Just click that button. And because my likes, it takes a lot of people to like before those numbers change. So I really count on my listeners to click on the thumbs up and subscribe if you haven't subscribed yet. Maybe share it with somebody that you know that could benefit from today or a previous podcast. Uh, this week was about relationships and how to enter them in a healthy way. And um, by the way, today is Wisdom Wellness Wednesday, so hopefully I'm spitting some wisdom to you. Um yeah, so Mike, Mister, if you could go on and like the episodes and comment, but a genuine, sincere comment. Like, this podcast really resonated with me. I have a lot of single friends and they should have done this, or I wish we would have done more of this before we were courting or got married, or I agree your needs can change, and those things should be communicated. And my communication style is this whatever, whatever. Hopefully, you're picking up what I'm putting down. Let's see, on to Angie Germer. I haven't seen any likes or comments from you, but Angie Germer is a loyal subscriber. At least last time I checked. Uh, Angie Germer is with Thrive Lavelle, and she is a nurse by day, but uh is has a side hustle with Thrive Lavelle, where she provides all natural supplements that fill the nutritional gaps. So if you're looking for energy, you're looking for something to help you lose weight, gain weight, bulk up, get in your vitamins, help you go to the bathroom, whatever it is. Angie Germer with Thrive Lavelle, she got you covered. And all her link is also in all my podcast descriptions. Roger Haven, thank you for being a loyal listener. Although I haven't seen any likes or commentary from you, so I'm not sure how you're doing or what you're doing. I know it's not exactly gardening season right now, but I hope to see you on the dance floor real soon, especially with all this these holidays coming up. Uh, we hope to get out this weekend and next weekend with Thanksgiving break and all that happening. And thank you to all my loyal listeners: Dory, Travis, Miss Samina, Mr. Jace, Sue, and countless others. I don't have time to go down the list, Kara. Um, yeah, it would take me all night to go down the list. You know who you are, and you know I appreciate you, right? Thank you. Thank you for listening. Thank you for liking. Oh, thank you to my recent subscribers from Fallon Middle School. Shout out to my students at Fallon who liked and subscribed to my channel. Namely um Krishna, Lily, uh, Gia. Oh my gosh, I'm trying to make sure. Kritika. Oh, so many out there. Um, just want to say thank you. Thank you to Miss Kim. Thank you to Debbie, uh, Damien, all the others that I may have forgotten to mention. Thank you for tuning in. Thank you for listening, Barry. Thank you for being loyal supporters. If you haven't already, please remember to like, subscribe, comment, share. It helps the algorithm. It helps me get my name and my voice out there so that I can help people on a larger scale. Currently, I have I'm in like 26 countries, and I'm very proud of that. But I want to get to a point where I am like nationwide. So thank you so much for tuning in. Thank you for listening. Sorry about the chime interruption. That's not supposed to happen, but clearly somebody texted me and interrupted the podcast. Anyway, I appreciate all of you. Thank you so much for all of your support, kindness. Yeah, so currently I'm in 33 countries and territories, 305 cities. Um, and I'm pretty much on every platform. United States is the most popular, but also Japan, Mexico, Israel, Singapore, Canada, Turkey. So I'm getting out there. Um people are listening. So thank you. Thank you to all of you. And as I say at the end of my podcast, ciao for now.