Fear Is a Liar

Have you ever wondered what's truly holding you back from pursuing your dreams? The answer might be simpler than you think.

Fear can paralyze us in ways we don't even realize. Whether it's the student afraid to speak in class or the professional hesitant to pursue a passion project, these invisible barriers often stem from what I call "False Evidence Appearing Real." Throughout this episode, I share intimate stories of transformation – both my own journey from wallflower to confident public speaker and the inspiring breakthrough of an eighth-grade student who overcame his social anxiety to deliver a presentation that initially terrified him.

We explore several powerful interpretations of fear, from "Forget Everything And Run" to "Face Everything And Rise," examining how our response to fear determines whether it becomes a roadblock or a stepping stone. Through practical strategies like breaking challenges into manageable steps and gradually expanding our comfort zones, we discover that courage isn't about being fearless – it's about moving forward despite feeling afraid.

The most profound revelation comes through the stories shared: that moment when my student realized he had conquered his fear and could now face similar challenges with newfound confidence, or my own transformation through deliberately seeking uncomfortable situations like approaching strangers and speaking publicly. These aren't just feel-good anecdotes – they're proof that what seems impossible becomes achievable when we confront our fears directly.

What fears are holding you back? I'd love to hear your stories of triumph or struggles you're still working through. Share your experiences in the comments, and let's create a community of support as we all work to elevate our lives by facing our fears head-on. Remember to like, follow, and subscribe to join our growing community of "Elkyvators"!

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome to Elkivate Your Life
• 1:40 Feedback on "Love in Digital Age"
• 4:32 Introduction to Fear and Its Acronyms
• 8:15 Student Overcoming Presentation Anxiety
• 14:12 Personal Experiences with Conquering Fear
• 18:50 Appreciation for Loyal Listeners
• 22:42 Final Thoughts and Call to Action

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Bow, chicka, wow, wow, what's up? Party people, welcome to another episode of Elkivate your Life. I am your hostess, with the mostess L as in the letter L and key as in the key to your heart. Thanks for tuning in all all my loyal listeners on this. Wisdom Wellness Wednesday. How's everyone enjoying their summer thus far? Wednesday, june 18th Everyone taking in fun in the sun, enjoying the warmer weather.

Speaker 1: 0:45

I definitely have tried to implement some de-stressors in my life of going outside in the fresh air every day, a couple times a day, walking Chanel and just trying to ground myself with the earth to decompress and help my mouth conditions improve. And, yeah, just just came back from the gym making it a point to go to the gym every other day. Well, first of all, I want to say thank you to my loyal listeners for your feedback on love in the digital age the previous episode. I really appreciated that people liked it and shared their feedback with me. It was very interesting to hear the different perspectives the Gen Z, the baby boomers so it was yeah, oh. And the millennials Sorry, yeah. So it was quite interesting to hear people's feedback about some people are of the thinking that all the women are just swiping on the older men who can provide in order to marry somebody that will provide for them. I could definitely. I mean that's one of the things that I was raised was. My mom was very traditional when it came to some things. Like you know, the man walks on the outside of the towards traffic. The man walks on the outside of the street. The man opens the door for you. The man, when approaches you for a date, comes and knocks on the door, doesn't honk or text or all these new age ways of doing things. So, yes, it was very interesting to hear all the various different feedback. So, thank you.

Speaker 1: 3:23

I'm feeling a little bit melancholy again this evening. A lot of unexpected twists and turns in my day. So I've just if I sound a little off or not, my happy-go-lucky, cheery self, it's because I am still processing and self-reflecting, looking at my part in it or the other person's part in it. Yeah, because I know normally I'm more enthusiastic. I'm just struggling. Today, guys, my mouth is in a lot of pain, so I'm trying to do things to decompress, such as going in the fresh outdoors and taking in some fun in the sun and then going to the gym, taking in some fun in the sun and then going to the gym.

Speaker 1: 4:32

So today's topic thank you to Kara Kenfield, kara Kitchell, kara and how fear can hinder us from gravitating towards our goals, achieving our goals, starting our goals. And it's interesting because I was having a conversation with Kara about fear and it was just a random conversation that turned into that's what you should talk about on your podcast. So here we are talking about it. So I don't know if any of you are familiar that there are all kinds of acronyms out there of fear Forget everything and run, or face everything and rise, or false evidence appearing real. That's the one that I was taught and shared with. So forget everything and run, face everything and rise. Yeah, it looks like a lot of this information. Well, it depends on the person, right? Hmm? Fantasized experiences appearing real. Face everything and rise. Fear, forget everything and rise. Fear, forget everything and run. False evidence appearing real. These are the various different interpretations of just how fear can have us stuck in and not moving forward. So I have a couple of stories to share with you. Thank you to all my loyal listeners, by the way, my loyal listeners that share their feedback. Feedback, uh, mr Rock, travis Lemire, dory Sue, sarah, carly Rain. I don't know if Carly and Rain are listening, but thank you if you are. Miss Amina Barry, um, too many to list so I'll I'll stop there. So fear false evidence appearing real.

Speaker 1: 7:30

So one of my students from last year who was off to graduate, to move into high school, first of all, he joined the school late and we had a conversation and he was like Miss Elke, do you think I'm a bad kid? And I said I don't think there's any such thing as a bad kid. I think there's bad behavior, bad choices, you know, but not a bad kid, right? Nobody wants to be labeled as that, anyway. So we sort of bonded over that conversation. And then, as time progressed so we sort of bonded over that conversation and then, as time progressed, I gravitated toward him because I really wanted to help him. I could see that he just, you know, he was new to the school and he it seemed like he was having a hard time adjusting. So I would sit with him and help him do his work and tell him you know, make sure you're participating in gym. And that was not an easy thing to do. Um, I used to go with him to his PE class and he would just put his hands on everybody and want to body slam them and fight them. And I'm like, dude, we have to find a way for you to rechannel this anger into something else. So fast forward.

Speaker 1: 9:10

He had a presentation he had to do in robotics and he came to me and said I can't do this. I can't, I have social anxiety. You know, I bite my nails, I can't go up in front of all these kids. And, interestingly enough, the week before, he was like do you think this class is for nerds, or has nerds? And I go, you know, it's all a matter of perspective. And I said, and quite honestly, these nerds will probably be helping you with your taxes when you're older, or working at the bank where you deposit your funds, or, you know, developing the home that you're going to buy, like all these things, right? So just trying to put things into perspective for him. So fast forward. Shout out to Miss Barrett for robotics. Such a great teacher, so awesome, love her.

Speaker 1: 10:06

And so my student was telling me we have to do a presentation in front of the class. Excuse me, I kind of got the hiccups. He goes, I'm not doing it. And I said, yes, you are. And he goes no, I'm not. I have social anxiety, I can't do it. There's no way I can't. And I said we won't have that stinking thinking in my presence. So you have social anxiety, you need to do it. And this is the class to do it in. And let me tell you why. You're in eighth grade. You're about to go off to high school. You're going to have more difficult presentations in front of your high school peers. I go. And you just said yourself last week you know you think these kids are kind of nerdy. I go. Yourself. Last week, you know you think these kids are kind of nerdy, I go.

Speaker 1: 11:00

So, by the way, he developed a different opinion as class went on. But, um, you know, it's a robotics class, so there are kids that are different and have different interests anyway. So he's like I can't do it. I can't do it. No, I don't know how I'm not going to be able to go up there. No, and I said here's what we're going to do, here's our plan. I'm going to write out on these little eight by 10 cards. I'll write out what you have to talk about and it was the camera and how it's evolved from when it came out to existing times right To current times, and so he did have a partner that had worked on some of it.

Speaker 1: 11:41

And so I go, this is how it's gonna go, you know, you'll have her do the introduction and then you'll do the middle and I'll go up there and stand with you. I'll even read the last sentence to help you. I'll be there for moral support. No, miss, miss Elke, you don't understand, I can't do it. It's so hard for me. I get nervous and I stutter and I can't say the words. I go okay, so we'll write it out and we'll practice. No, that's even worse, I'll mess up on the words. So, sure enough, we wrote it out and I had him practice, and he didn't know how to pronounce the words, so we practiced those. There were just a couple that were challenging, so I had to keep saying them over and over again.

Speaker 1: 12:25

And D-Day came where he had to go up in front of the class and give his presentation. He was like no, no, I can't, I can't, I can't do it, you guys do it. No. And I was like, dude, if there were ever a time and place for you to do something like this, this is the time. And he goes okay, fine, so we go to the head of the class, we meet up with the lab partner and, to our surprise, his partner reads her part. He gets to his part and reads through it. No issues. I read my the last sentence and then people ask some questions. He answers the questions and, boom, he's done. And so at the end he's like fist bumping me.

Speaker 1: 13:34

Hey, ms Elke, thanks for helping me, you know, overcome my fear, thanks for helping me overcome my project. And I go really, did you really? And he goes. Yeah, yeah, I feel like I really overcame my fear and you know, you made me go up there and face my fear and I just read it, just as you told me to read it, and now I feel so much better. I feel like that's one less thing I'm afraid of, and so I go. Oh, my god, that's awesome. I'm, I'm so happy for you. That's that's what I wanted you to accomplish, so that next year, when you go in front of your peers and you're in high school and it's going to be more awkward because it'll be more students in a different setting of the classroom I go. So it's good to get your nerves out before you have to go and do this, you know. So that was a win. And then I was just reflecting back on things that I've done.

Speaker 1: 14:48

So when I worked in life insurance, we were given an assignment where all of us newbies had to go to the nearby gas station market parking lot and we had to go and get 10 names and numbers from random strangers. Just walk up to them. Hey, you know how you doing. My name is so and so I work for this company doing this. Would you be interested in finding out information you know regarding a life insurance plan? And, to my surprise, after I did that, I did feel more confident. Sorry guys, um, I lost my train of thought there for a moment. So I guess what I was trying to tell you is I overcame my fear. I got the 10 numbers and it was like I overcame my fear. Okay, I can do this. I also was the wallflower in class and couldn't get up in front of people and speak in front of people. Now I karaoke in front of people, I dance in front of people, I challenge myself to go up and talk to random strangers when I'm at events or mixers or things like that.

Speaker 1: 16:32

So my question to you is what have you done to overcome your fear. Have you overcome your fear? Is it asking a woman out, getting her phone number, or approaching someone to talk to them? Or maybe it's something like swimming, hiking, biking, fishing I don't know fishing, I don't know. I would love to hear what yours is and find out how I can hopefully encourage you and help to support you along the way to where you find the courage to overcome that fear, fear of heights, fear of crowded spaces. Yeah, whatever it is, I want to hear your story and how you overcame it or, if you haven't, how I can help you navigate that through that to make you feel more confident and secure. So that is my important topic for this evening. I will look forward to your feedback. Remember, if you like the podcast, remember to like it and or if you know somebody that could benefit from this podcast, share it and comment. Let me know. What are you afraid of, what are your fears, what do you need to overcome, or how did you overcome it? Or, yeah, I would love to hear your story. I think it would be a great testimony.

Speaker 1: 18:45

I want to make sure that I send a shout out and thank you to all my loyal listeners Kara Canfield, kara Kitchell, thank you. Thank you so much for supporting me. Please be sure to support her in return. Lovemyartistetsycom. She's super talented. I feel like there's nothing this woman can't do she cooks, she bakes, she's athletic, she sings, she dances, she creates poetry, music. I mean. Check out her page, you'll see what I mean. She is a force to be reckoned with. I mean, she is a force to be reckoned with, I mean, and she's well organized.

Speaker 1: 19:29

And yeah, I also want to make sure to mention Lisa Roberts Curbelo. Lisa Roberts Curbelo, who's always working hard and playing hard. Miss you so much, lisa. I hope that we reconnect in the near future, perhaps hopefully for birthdays birthday celebration. I sent you an invite. Haven't heard back. I don't know if you're traveling, working too busy, forgot, but would love to hear from you. Jeff Pata, jeff Pata namaste. Thank you for always helping to keep me grounded and of sound mind and body. I really appreciate that sound mind and body. I really appreciate that. Mike coffin kaufman, thank you for being a loyal subscriber. Appreciate you.

Speaker 1: 20:34

Angie, angie germer thrive. Thrive, lavelle. If you're looking to get in shape, if you're looking to get well fit and you're looking for a more natural approach of the GLP-1, angie's your girl. All of these people. I'm talking about Kara and Angie. You can find their website on my page Super easy way to get in touch with people.

Speaker 1: 21:10

Persimmon Dental Persimmon Dental for keeping my pearly whites white. Thank you so much for keeping my teeth clean and healthy. And, oh my gosh, I'm just now realizing that, roger. Roger, I left you out in my video version, but thank you for being a loyal listener and subscriber. What are your fears, my friend? I am really looking forward to hearing everyone's feedback because I want to help you get through this fear. So remember, like, follow, share, and that helps the algorithm, it helps me, it helps me to help others and get my podcast out there, get it heard, get it seen. Thank you again to all my loyal listeners. I appreciate you.

Speaker 1: 22:03

I was trying to think. You know everyone else, all of the pop stars. They all have these little terms, like lady gaga uses monsters and, oh my gosh, I just lost the other one. Excuse me, sorry, oh, I'm struggling today. Um, but I was thinking Elkyvators. What do we think? What do we think about Elkyvators? Too cheesy. Anyway, appreciate the listen, appreciate the like, share and follow. Remember you can subscribe for as little as a cup of coffee or as much as a happy meal, just saying well, thank you all for tuning in, thank you for listening, thank you for watching. I appreciate you and ciao for now.