Touch Hunger Explained And How To Meet The Need Safely

Touch hunger is one of those concepts that can stop you in your tracks because it names what so many of us feel but struggle to explain. When your body goes without safe, nourishing physical contact for long enough, the impact can show up in surprising ways: emotional numbness, feeling disconnected from your body, craving closeness but not knowing what kind, or even feeling overwhelmed when touch is offered. 

We dig into what touch hunger is, why it is not always obvious, and why it can be especially layered for neurodivergent, disabled, or trauma-impacted people. Touch can be regulating and also too much. Desire for connection does not always match capacity for it. And caring touch is not the same thing as intimate touch, which opens up more compassionate options for partners and families with different needs. I also share how this hits close to home in my own marriage, where sensory challenges and love languages can collide. 

You will also hear practical, body-based tools for nervous system support when other people are not available for touch, including self-touch, grounding practices, and deep pressure supports like weighted blankets and vests. We talk about allowing grief for what has not been met without turning it into shame, plus a broader reminder to listen to your body for what it needs, whether that is rest, nourishment, or connection. If this resonates, listen, share it with someone who might need it, and please subscribe, leave a rating, and drop a comment with your thoughts or questions.

Transcript

Welcome And Weekly Format

SPEAKER_00 0:02

Oh, chickowa. What's up, party people? Welcome to another episode of LKV to your life. I'm your hostess with the most design L and E as in the key to your heart. Thank you for tuning in on this Wisdom Wellness Wednesday, June 17th, exactly one month away from my birthday, and just under one month away for my husband's birthday. I don't know if any of you know that my husband's is July 16th and mine is July 17th. Different years, of course. But I will be 58 and fabulous question mark. At least that's the goal. Anyway, if you're a new listener, thank you for tuning in. We usually cover topics. Mindful Monday is usually about mindfulness, whatever you could do to be mindful, and wisdom wellness Wednesday is always me sharing some wisdom with you. And have I got the tea for you all?

What Touch Hunger Means

SPEAKER_00 1:22

Have you ever heard of touch hunger? It's a thing. So touch hunger is what happens when your body doesn't get enough safe, nourishing physical contact. And when that kind of contact is missing for a long time, the impact isn't always obvious. It doesn't always show up as I need more affection. Sometimes it shows up as feeling emotionally flat or disconnected in your body, craving closeness but not knowing what kind. Feeling overwhelmed or avoidant when touch is offered. A low-level ache that's hard to name. Reaching for stimulation instead of connection.

How It Shows Up Day To Day

SPEAKER_00 2:29

And here's an interesting fun fact because this actually applies to my neurodivergent husband. And for many neurodivergent disabled or trauma-impacted people, touch hunger can be layered. Because touch can be regulating and overwhelming at the same time. Because desire for closeness doesn't always match capacity for it. Because not all caring touch is intimate touch. By the way, let me go back. So for many neurodivergent, as I said, that's my husband. Many neurodivergent disabled or trauma-impacted people. Well, I've definitely been trauma impacted. As has he. Kind of interesting. So what do you do when people aren't available for touch? Use self-touch pressure weighted objects or grounding practices

Self Touch And Weighted Supports

SPEAKER_00 4:06

to give your body some of what it's asking for. And it's interesting they're saying that because they are they now have like weighted blankets, weighted vests, weighted coats.

SPEAKER_01 4:26

Also, let yourself grieve what hasn't been met without turning that grief into shame.

SPEAKER_00 4:35

There's no moral lesson in needing touch. There's just a human body asking for contact that helps it feel safe, regulated, and held.

SPEAKER_01 4:56

And touch hunger is what happens when your body doesn't get enough safe, nourishing physical contact.

SPEAKER_00 5:03

And when that kind of contact is missing for a long time, the impact isn't always obvious.

SPEAKER_01 5:12

It doesn't always show up as

Personal Story And Love Languages

SPEAKER_01 5:15

I need more affection.

SPEAKER_00 5:21

So that's what I have for Wisdom Wellness Wednesday. I don't know if any of you are familiar with it, have heard of it, have experienced it. I can honestly tell you after reading this that yes, that definitely applies to me. I'm married to a neurodivergent who has sensory challenges. And physical touch is not a priority to him. And it's my number one love language. So um thank you, Roger, for sharing this. Roger Havens, one of my loyal listeners, subscribers, shout out to Roger Havens. Thank you for sharing this information with me. It really gave me perspective, and I actually shared it with my husband in the hopes that he'll show up differently, but also wanted to share it with the world so that you are aware of your wants, needs, internal, internal feelings. A lot of

Listen To Your Body

SPEAKER_00 6:38

times we don't know what's going on with our body. And one of the things that I recognize now is I pay attention to my body. I listen to my body when it tells me if I'm getting sick, if I'm hurt, if I'm sad, all the things. So I encourage all of you out there to listen to your body and be sure to give it what it needs. Whether that be what we just discussed, or other things that could be lacking: sleep, nourishment, connection.

Shout Outs And Listener Invitation

SPEAKER_00 7:22

Anyway, shout out to my loyal subscribers, Lisa Roberts Corbello, Roger Havens, Angie Germer, Mike Kaufman, and Kyle Few. Thank you all for being loyal listeners andor subscribers. I really appreciate you. Thank you all for tuning in to listen to Wisdom Wellness Wednesday. I hope this resonates with you listeners out there tonight. Please be sure to remember to like the episode if you liked it. Depending

Like Comment And Share

SPEAKER_00 8:02

on the platform you're listening to, if it's on YouTube, there's a thumbs up you can click. Um, every platform is different, but I'm on all of them. And feel free to leave your feedback, your comments, your questions. I would love to hear if you are aware of this, if you had ever heard of this term before, because I felt it was really relevant, and I'm glad that Roger shared it with me because I it definitely resonated with me. So maybe you know somebody that is, you know, struggling with touch hunger, and maybe it'll help you to give that person a hug. That's all I have for tonight.

How To Subscribe And Support

SPEAKER_00 9:02

If you are interested in subscribing to the show, I love that you can find the link in my content uh via Buzz Sprout. There is a link, but it's usually available in my content as well. You could always reach out to me and ask me how to become a subscriber if you like. Um but generally, if you just go to buzzsprout.com, there's a place that offers listener support. Um, I believe it's https semicolon forward slash forward slash www.buzzsprout.com forward slash two three two three three five seven forward slash support. If that doesn't work for you all, feel free to share with me and let me know if that works or if it doesn't. I appreciate it. And yeah, you can subscribe for as little as a cup of coffee or as much as a happy meal, as I always like to say. Thank you to all of you. Oh, Roger, you're still not showing up. What the heck? Okay, well, anyway, thank you for tuning in. Thank you for listening. And until next time, ciao for now.