What Does Small Neglect Say About Love

• Forgetting to say goodnight once is one thing. Forgetting again after you’ve already named the hurt, asked for what you need, and heard “I’ll be better” can feel like something else entirely. That’s the question we’re sitting with today: when does “whoops” turn into a pattern that signals low empathy, emotional distance, or a quiet lack of care? 

• I talk through a real relationship dilemma that hit me hard, because these tiny moments of connection are not tiny when you’re the one waiting for them. We dig into what it means to communicate wants, needs, and boundaries, then watch the same behavior repeat anyway. I also throw the question to you directly: if your partner, husband, wife, or significant other keeps skipping the most basic goodbye rituals after you’ve already addressed it more than once, what’s the appropriate response? Hard boundary, ultimatum, forgiveness with conditions, couples counseling, or calling it quits? 

• Along the way, we take a quick Mindful Monday detour into Cinco de Mayo plans and taco traditions, then I share a personal update on reaching out to a popular dating podcast and what it would take to make that trip happen. If you’ve ever wondered how to handle repeated disrespect, emotional neglect, or inconsistent effort in a relationship, this conversation is for you. 

Listen, Like with a thumbs up ,then leave a comment with your advice, share this with someone who needs it, and please subscribe and review so more people can find the show. What would you do next?

Transcript

Welcome And The Relationship Question

SPEAKER_00 0:00

What's up, party people, bound chicka wow wow. Thank you for tuning in to another episode of L Kivate Your Life. I am your hostess with the most S. L as in the letter L, and key as in the key to your heart. Thanks for tuning in on this mindful Monday, May 4th, one day before Cinco de Mayo.

SPEAKER_01 0:30

Kinda want to talk about relationships tonight and what they mean to you.

SPEAKER_00 0:38

So just curious to all you married folks in relationships, single, dating, take your pick.

SPEAKER_01 0:50

What do you do?

SPEAKER_00 0:52

Or as I like to say, riddle me this Batman, but what do you do when your partner forgets to say goodnight to you or doesn't because of a difficult situation, maybe an altercation that took place earlier in the evening?

SPEAKER_01 1:16

And then you discuss feelings, thoughts, feelings, needs, wants, desires.

SPEAKER_00 1:29

You have a come to Jesus moment. Okay, thanks for bringing this to my attention. I'll put some thought into it. I will be better. I'll be more mindful. And 24 hours later, that same person forgets to say goodbye to you when they leave for work.

SPEAKER_01 1:53

What do you do with that? Inquiring minds want to know. Mama Elkie wants to know.

SPEAKER_00 2:06

I'm just wondering at what point do you say to yourself, okay, was that an accident? Were these things accidents? Or is it a lack of empathy?

SPEAKER_01 2:24

Is it uh whoops? Is it I'll give them the benefit of the doubt because they woke up late or whatever. At what point do you say to yourself, I'm not sure. This is what it used to be.

SPEAKER_00 2:58

Forgive me for getting emotional, but when I hear these stories and talk about these stories, I do get emotional because I am an empathetic person. And um it's what makes me good at my day job working with kids and wanting to help them to become better. And so I'm just curious.

SPEAKER_01 3:23

Um forgive me, Sasha.

SPEAKER_00 3:30

Her name's Sasha. Sasha's having a bad hair day. You know, the other one was Eva. This is Sasha. For those of you that can't see me, you can check me out on YouTube and you'll be able to see. Anyway, I'm just wondering, what do you do with that information? At what point do you say, this doesn't feel really good? And I feel like I've raised the question, brought it to their attention, expressed wants and needs and boundaries, and yeah, I'm honestly just wondering at what point do you say to yourself?

SPEAKER_01 4:18

Maybe they just don't care anymore.

Asking Listeners For Real Advice

SPEAKER_00 4:29

Um, and the reason I'm asking this is because it is very unknown territory to me. Um, I personally have never experienced this kind of relationship or this kind of behavior where somebody would forget to say goodnight or be too tired or too upset and then forget to say goodbye. I just personally haven't experienced that. So I'm wondering what you would all do with this information? I would love to hear from you, married couples, psychologists, happy long-term relationships, healthy relationships where there's communication of back and forth and acknowledgement and acceptance and validation. Sorry to be sniffling in your ear, but I'm just having a really hard time processing that information that was delivered to me. So I am reaching out to you, my listeners, my loyal listeners, to find out because I have some married folks out there that listen to me. I have some couples that have been in long-term relationships, um, healthy single people that are working on themselves and, you know, setting a healthy tone for boundaries. And then there's, you know, the couples that have been together for a year, two years, three years that listen, um, or people that live together and have been in a long-term living situation. And then I have my single friends out there that might have thoughts and opinions they want to share. Either way, I would love to hear your thoughts and opinions on what to do with that information. What would you do with that? Would you set a hard boundary?

SPEAKER_01 6:55

Would you give an ultimatum? Would you call it quits? Would you forgive and forget and say, as long as it doesn't happen again? I would really love to know your thoughts and opinions on this one. Because I'm at a loss.

SPEAKER_00 7:33

What do you do with that information? How do you move forward? How do you handle it? Um, obviously, if you have a counselor, you talk to your counselor or you know, confide in a friend, or discuss it with your other half.

SPEAKER_01 7:52

But what do you do with that information in the meantime?

SPEAKER_00 7:58

Um, I do want to remember to acknowledge that uh it's the day before Cinco de Mayo. So I'm curious what everyone is going to be doing for Cinco de Mayo. Are you going to a party? Are you having tacos? It's it just so happens that it's on a taco Tuesday. Um, and we have casting this week, so um at school slash work. So I'm kind of like, oh, they mentioned a nacho bar. I'm wondering if that's gonna be tomorrow because it's taco Tuesday and Cinco de Mayo. Probably so. Are you going out for margaritas? Tacos. What are your plans for Cinco de Mayo? Do you celebrate Cinco de Mayo? It's usually a big thing for eating Mexican food and having margaritas. And um, well, I won't be having margaritas, um, but I do hope to partake in tacos. Um, I love El Pollo Loco's crunchy chicken tacos. If you haven't had them, highly recommend. And they have them on a really good deal on Taco Tuesdays. Anyway, I'm reaching out to my listeners because um I don't even know what to say or what to do with this information. And well, I'm hoping all of you can provide some insight as to what do you think the appropriate response is?

SPEAKER_01 9:42

And uh you'll probably have follow-up questions.

SPEAKER_00 9:49

So is it the first time? No, it's not. It's not the first time, it's not the first conversation that it's actually been brought up more than once. So I'm looking to all of you for advice, insights, suggestions.

SPEAKER_01 10:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:13

Um before I forget, I want to give a shout out to my loyal listeners, Dory, Travis, Roger, Andrew, Barry, um, also to my loyal subscribers, Lisa Roberts, Carbello, Jeff Potter, Angie Germer, Kyle Fhew.

SPEAKER_01 10:44

Thank you for being loyal subscribers to me.

Sponsorship Request And How To Help

Like Comment Share And Closing Question

SPEAKER_00 10:48

Um, I do want to share with all of you that um I recently reached out to the Whatever podcast, if any of you are familiar with it, and um asked if I could be a guest on their show. Uh the whatever podcasts are on YouTube, they're on Instagram, it's a dating podcast. It can be, well, let's just say they like to debate, and it can be sort of controversial, but I reached out in the hopes to be seen, get more views, be heard, be recognized. So somehow, by some miracle, I have to make it to Santa Barb Santa Barbara on I think it's Monday, June 7th. They record on Sunday nights. So Sunday the 6th. I haven't figured out how I'm getting there, who I'm going with. So if any of you out there want to sponsor or go fund for me or help with this venture, I would love and appreciate the help. Um yeah, I can't say that I've been to Santa Barbara in my adulthood. I if I have, I don't recall it. So I hear that it's beautiful and there's sights to see, and I hope to be able to take that in, but um, so I'm trying to figure out driving, lodging, cost, etc. So I would love to hear if any of my loyal listeners out there that know me want to help sponsor me for that trip, because I think it'll get me views and likes, and I'll get to be heard and seen on a very reputable popular podcast that could give me the exposure that I'm looking for and that I need. So um, if any of you aren't sure how to do any of this, there's a link in my bio as well as in my content in the podcast description. There's usually a link where you can become a subscriber for, I tell people all the time for as little as a cup of coffee or as much as a happy meal. It's like three, five, eight, ten dollars. But if you want to make a donation towards what I'm talking about, well, you could certainly send in the fan mail, put in the comments, and I can respond that way how to go about doing it. I have Zelle, I have Venmo, um, I'm on all the platforms. I'm on Instagram as Elkivate Podcast. Um, everyone else is ElkyvateYour Life Podcast, TikTok, Facebook. Um, but I would really appreciate the support and the help. If if you can, it would mean a lot to me. Thanks for showing up for me today. And um please remember, if you liked this episode, to like it, thumbs up it, uh, just click the little thumbs up button and to comment your feedback. How would you handle the question that I proposed to you? And share if you know somebody that could benefit from this information or this podcast. Um, yeah, also know that it helps the algorithm when you like, comment, and share. And I really need that in order to grow and expand. I'm doing all the things, I'm showing up for all of you, but apparently that hasn't been enough. So I will look forward to the answer to the question, which was how would what would you do with the information if somebody forgot to say goodnight to you or forgot to say goodbye to you, and it was your partner, your husband, your wife, your significant other, and it wasn't the first time, and you already had a conversation about it. What would you do?

SPEAKER_01 15:35

How would you handle it?

SPEAKER_00 15:40

I I hope to hear some feedback because I I got nothing other than, oh, talk to your therapist and see what your therapist says, or write it in your journal, or talk to the person, communicate your feelings, your thoughts, your needs, your boundaries. I don't know. Anyway. Thanks for tuning in to Mindful Monday. I hope you all have an amazing evening. I'll look forward to your comments. Remember, like I said, like, click the like button, comment, and share it out because it helps the algorithm. It helps me. And remember to answer my question. There's a reason I ask questions. I gave you homework. Enjoy your taco Tuesday, your Cinco de Mayo, and I'll see you, talk to you, whatever again on Wisdom Wellness Wednesday. Until then, ciao for now.