Swipe Right on Sanity: A No-BS Guide to Modern Dating

• Ever found yourself ignoring relationship red flags only to regret it later? You're not alone.
• The journey to finding love in 2025 doesn't have to be filled with missteps and heartache. In this illuminating episode, we dive deep into the conscious dating red flags checklist that's changing how singles approach relationships. From partners who react to frustration with blame to those who demonstrate an unwillingness to self-examine, these warning signs serve as powerful guideposts for anyone navigating the dating landscape.
• But before we can successfully connect with others, wellness must be our foundation. We explore eight essential practices—from physical activity and healthy eating to stress management and continuous learning—that prepare us to show up as our best selves in relationships. As your brain is a muscle that needs regular exercise, challenging yourself to remember information rather than immediately reaching for Google can strengthen cognitive connections and enhance your dating conversations.
• The digital dating world continues to evolve, and we've researched the top platforms for 2025. Whether you're over 50 (Our Time), a single parent (Stir), or looking for personality-based matching (eHarmony's impressive 9.9 rating), there's a platform designed for your specific needs. I even share my personal success story with Zoosk from years ago!
• The most valuable insight from our listeners? People will tell you who they are—maybe not immediately, but eventually. The key is developing the wisdom to listen to both their words and actions. Many of us have glazed over red flags or ignored our intuition, only to find ourselves asking, "Why didn't I see this sooner?"

Ready to transform your approach to dating? Subscribe now, share with a friend who's in the dating trenches, and join our community of conscious daters who know that finding the right partner starts with becoming the right partner.

Chapters

• 0:00 Wellness Wednesday Introduction
• 4:16 Eight Essential Wellness Tips
• 8:57 Dating Red Flags Checklist
• 12:40 Top Dating Apps for 2025
• 16:21 Reddit Dating Questions & Shoutouts
• 22:31 Special Thanks and Sponsor Highlights

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Ow, chicka-wow-wow, what's up? Party people, welcome to another episode of Elkivate your Life. I am your hostess, with the mostess L as in the letter L, and key as in the key to your heart and key as in the key to your heart. Thank you for joining me this evening on this Wisdom Wellness Wednesday. I appreciate you. I just want to kick things off by talking a little bit about Wellness Wednesday and what is wellness? What gets us to the point of wellness? Well, I'm here to tell you. So let's start out with a list of wellness tips for this evening before I jump into our segment.

Speaker 1: 1:00

Number one physical activity. A minimum of 20 minutes a day of physical activity helps get the blood flowing, the heart pumping. Nothing like a little bit of cardio to you know, boost things, get things moving. A body in motion stays in motion. A body at rest stays at rest.

Speaker 1: 1:26

Number two healthy eating. It's important that we eat healthy. We've got to keep our body moving and grooving, and healthy eating is a part of wellness. Mindfulness, being mindful, being conscientious of your thoughts, feelings, actions, social connection social connection helps to keep you happy. Uh, yeah, believe it or not, social connection is up there with wellness. Stress management we all know how stress kills right. So stress management helps to keep us well Quality sleep Quality sleep super important.

Speaker 1: 2:17

You don't get enough sleep, your body suffers, you can't remember things. It definitely affects your work-life balance If you're sluggish, you're grouchy, you can't remember things, and then it goes on. As I read that hygiene good hygiene practice actually protects your health. And then, of course, we have preventative health care. And obviously preventative health care. You go in, you get yourself checked out. You don't wait till you are so sickly that you have to go to the doctors and find out what's going on.

Speaker 1: 3:03

And, last but not least, continuous learning. Guys and gals, we have to be flexing our muscle, that is, our brain. I talk about this in a couple of my other episodes about how, memory care facilities. I've spoken with several of the managers of memory care and they talk about flexing your brain. That is a muscle and we need to continue to strengthen it through continuous learning. Hence me referring to the SpongeBob reference of I got to look through my brain files instead of oh my gosh, I can't remember it, let me Google it. If we exercise our brain muscle and try to remember things on our own, that is the best thing that you could do for yourself and just continuous learning, reading, researching, learning a new skill. All is helpful in Wellness Wednesday.

Speaker 1: 4:13

So thank you for tuning in everyone. As you all know, if you were listening and watching on YouTube, I was talking about dating in 2025. And I talked about dating tips for 2025 from ages as young as 14 years old up to ages 65. And I got such an overwhelming response from all of my listeners that I had to do a part deux or a part two, so I did a little bit of more research. So, first of all, let me just tell you some of the things I read crazy and some of the information I got that I want to share with you is that several people had all kinds of comments that they wrote in and basically had questions about. I'm just trying to pull up the comments, so bear with me because I don't want the noise to interfere, but definitely want to share the comments. First of all, this is my favorite podcast yet Definitely want more of this. Answered so many questions I had. Thank you, mama Elkie. What's considered compatible? Can you force yourself to be with someone and then more best days ahead? Those are just some of the comments that I received.

Speaker 1: 6:05

Anyway, forgive the beep, I blocked everything. I don't know why that happens, but it does anyway. So let's get into it. I basically looked up a bunch of stuff about dating. I wanted to share the feedback. Oh, one of the things I want to share with you is a checklist, and this is super helpful to my single friends out there. So let's get into it, the checklist, and then I actually you know what. Let me finish sharing some of the feedback, because I only shared a couple of things. So that was just a couple of the comments I wanted to go back to. Where is it? Where is it? Da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Here we go. Here's some more comments. Bear with me, bear with me. Oh my God, great subject, made me laugh. Also, lots of interesting questions to ponder. Okay, somebody said you look great. Okay, sure, I'll take it. Anyway, all right, let's move on to the checklist Conscious dating red flags checklist Project. To the checklist Conscious dating Red flags checklist Projecting the future.

Speaker 1: 7:49

Number one would I want to spend the rest of my life with this person exactly as they are? Would I want this person to raise my child? Would I want my child to be exactly like this person? Are you talking yourself into a relationship. Do I want to rescue or help them? Because I see their potential, I love the way they look or their status, and it builds my self-esteem to be with them. Wow, we have some things in common and so I'm avoiding looking at glaring differences.

Speaker 1: 8:34

Danger signs part three Reacts to frustration with anger, rage or blame. Blames others or circumstances for life situation. Tries to control everything, including me. Immature, impulsive and or irresponsible. Emotionally distant or void aloof. Part four other common red flags if is pessimistic and negative about things that matter to me. Lacks integrity in dealing with people, money, etc. Judgmental attitude toward themselves and others. Unwilling to self-examine, accept feedback and take responsibility Hmm, I hear this one a lot. In fact, a lot of these red flags resonated with a lot of my listeners. Doesn't keep agreements. What they say about themselves doesn't match reality. Emotional rollercoaster, recurring or regular emotional drama. So I have to say this is a very interesting checklist.

Speaker 1: 10:02

The other danger signs still pining for a past relationship wants me to make their sad life better. Active addiction or addictive behavior. Changeable, inconsistent behavior or inability to listen. Overly quiet or withdrawn. I notice myself trying to change this person to fit what I want instead of accepting them for who they are. Talks too much especially about themselves monopolizes the conversation. Ladies and gents, I highly recommend that you utilize this conscious dating red flag checklist and if you need me to send it to you, I'm happy to do so. It definitely opened my eyes to behavior and patterns and just what I talked about in the first episode, about when you are dating someone.

Speaker 1: 11:23

Listen to what they say. They will tell you who they are, maybe not in the first date or the second date, maybe not even the third date, but the common key phrase that I heard from a lot of my listeners is that, oh yeah, I just kind of glazed over those red flags, or I didn't listen to my intuition, I didn't follow it or, you know, I just believed their words, not their actions. So many interesting things that we didn't or we don't listen to or look at until later. And then hindsight is 20-20, right. Then we're like, oh my gosh, why didn't I pay attention to this or look at that, or why didn't I take this more seriously? Because now I'm in it and it's a problem, so moving right along.

Speaker 1: 12:26

One of the things I also wanted to share with you is in my little video short that you can see on YouTube. Thank you for watching and listening wherever you are. Podcastle, amazon Music did I mention that one? Deezer Podchaser I usually don't like to name all of them. You can also find me on TikTok, instagram, facebook, and my links are tagged there.

Speaker 1: 13:10

One of the things I wanted to share with you is the best online list best online dating for 2025. Okay, I only did the top seven guys because I would be here all night, but I just want to share some fun facts with you. So number one eHarmony, rated 9.9, with an excellent rating. Apparently, the personality profile shows how well you match with this person. So apparently they have a very good personality profile. I wouldn't know, but people I've talked to have had great matches through eHarmony. So give it a shot. Number two Date my Age with a 9.7 rating, and you have the ability to live stream video global network singles. Number three datingcom 9.6 rating match made in minutes. And number four matchcom got a 9.4 rating.

Speaker 1: 14:25

One of the things that stood out to me is that you get to start for free, and who doesn't want a free dating app? Because I know it can get costly, especially if you're on numerous dating apps right? So that one's number four, number five and I just heard this one the other day in talking with friends and it is called Our Time. This is the over 50 dating app. It is the number one dating app for over 50. It's a simple platform. You can personalize your profile to your liking. Matches are based on interest. And number six Stir Stir for the single parents. I kind of like that.

Speaker 1: 15:14

Where was this when I was a single parent looking for love, looking for love in all the wrong places, anyway, okay, and moving on to number seven, zoosk. Do any of you remember Zoosk? So I actually utilized Zoosk back in the day, years ago. I saw it through Facebook and I met my match through Zoosk, jose Gutierrez, and yeah, we were together for a long time. So Zoosk worked for me back in the day, so I guess it's still alive and kicking. Anyway, I highly recommend that you check out these websites. No, I'm not getting paid for promoting, sponsoring any of that. Also, if you want to get some fun facts, there are some interesting groups on Facebook and should check out some of the comments on Reddit.

Speaker 1: 16:19

I was looking at the dating advice and that's like should they approach people at the gym? Where do 30-year-olds meet most people to date. Dating is exhausting. This is my experience. Guy matches with me just to insult me. Why, and oh where is it? Would you date a person with gray hair being ghosted after two months? Is it weird? I'm only attracted to girls with big asses. No, everybody has a preference. Everybody has a type. It's just interesting some of the questions you'll find on here. The lady at work took me off guard today Need advice.

Speaker 1: 17:15

Is emotional monogamy not just a thing in modern dating? Can men and women be friends if things don't work out romantically? Well, I think it depends on. You know it's tricky because women, we are emotional creatures and you know we get sucked in when you get intimate, which is why I like to talk about the 90-day rule Thank you, steve Harvey and the book the Rules.

Speaker 1: 17:47

This is interesting. I really like the guy I'm dating, but his breath always smells. Oh my, okay. Well, anyway, if you ever have any random questions, go on Reddit. It's a great platform for not only questions but answers and people sharing their experiences. Thank God for modern technology. Right, guys and girls? I have to say a lot of interesting things and, yes, I'm going to delve deeper into the reddit dating app where okay, I'm sorry. Another one just caught my eye. Should I reach out to him and ask him to be friends again? Is attempting to date as an average man even worth it anymore? Oh, yes, it is. How are you supposed to use a dating app if everything costs $59.99 per month? Well, see, that's where you need to find the free ones, my friend. Anyway, I hope that this podcast is useful to all of you.

Speaker 1: 19:01

Thank you to Persimmon Dental, located in Persimmon Plaza in Dublin, california. They always keep my teeth sparkling white and all the staff there is just wonderful and amazing and I highly recommend them. It is a family dentist practice. They do anything and everything and just a friendly, warm, welcoming staff and they're really great about trying to fit you in when you need to come in for an emergency visit or, you know, whatever your dental needs are, make sure you you give them hashtag Elkyvate. Uh.

Speaker 1: 19:51

Also, thank you to all my subscribers out there Michael Kaufman, ready, fresh Water Guy, thank you. Lisa Roberts Curbelo, appreciate you so much. My hard-working mama out there, who's always busy traveling and having fun and being super mom and boss busy. Uh, thank you to Jeff Pata namaste. Jeff Parra Namaste.

Speaker 1: 20:20

I so appreciate your meditation tips and staying grounded. Guys, if you ever want to know about meditating and staying grounded, I highly recommend his tip Take off your socks and shoes and ground yourself with Mother Earth, yourself with Mother Earth. And last but not least, kyle Few Professor Kyle, dr Kyle, guru Kyle. Kyle Few of Commitment to Love. Love is a verb. It can be found on Amazon, audible. And thank you to all my loyal listeners. Please, everyone, like, share, follow. I told you all the platforms. You can now see my video pre-clips of my audio podcast, elkivate your Life. I can be found on all the popular platforms and if you want to check out my YouTube, elkivate your Life, you can see little pre-clips or shorts as they call them, of what I'll be talking about in my podcast.

Speaker 1: 21:40

Thank you to Kara Kitchell, who is the talented one, lovemyartistetsycom. She is just a creative soul. She does everything from creating wedding oh gosh, I'm losing my train of thought basically wedding decor or ornaments for the table, various different things. She also does singing, video of clothing, poems, artwork super talented woman. And, of course, her other half, tom guzik, minor pig studiosetsycom. His is a more rustic approach of artwork, both of them super talentedly.

Speaker 1: 22:43

Recommend you, check them out and shout out to my girl, stacy, who makes some incredible chocolate chip pudding cookies. If only I didn't have to worry about watching my weight. I would be eating them all the time, be eating them all the time. You can find Stacey through TikTok, matter of fact. Let me find her so I can share with you her. I'm trying to find her handle here, looking at friends, bear with me, bear with me. Where'd you go, stacy? Where are you? I can't think of her last name. Okay, I'm well, shout out to Stacy anyway, I'm not finding her so easily, but she makes delicious chocolate chip pudding cookies that are to die for and, like I said, said, oh, here she is, stacy, TikTok, rowan's, rowan's Nana, rowan's Nana. So she talks, yeah, she advertises her cookies and her love for baking. Shout out to Stacy. Hope to get some more cookies. Actually, she does a Kahlua cake over the holidays where you just you can have it with Cool Whip or whipped cream or ice cream, and I am sucker for the sweet treats. So, yes, keep her in mind. You can also find her on Nextdoor to all you local people out there.

Speaker 1: 24:42

Shout out to Dr Cedric Stewart at the Function Chiropractic and ChiroThin. If you're looking to lose weight, I highly recommend ChiroThin. It is the natural approach to losing weight, works with your endocrine system and is amazing. They offer various different plans where you can subscribe and get the meal plan you do. Your initial visit can be via telephone, via Zoom, and they have a variety of plans, like silver, bronze, gold one, where they provide you with the natural approach and the foods to eat. One includes a meal plan, another includes supplements and I have to say it has worked wonders for your girl, because I am always keeping keeping an eye on my waistline, especially five, four on a good day with heels, all right. Well, that's it for me. Ciao for now, everyone, and good night.