Elkevate Your Life
Welcome to Elkevate, the podcast where real talk meets heartfelt advice. I'm Elke, often called "Mama Elke" by those around me. With years of experience lending a listening ear to friends, family, and even complete strangers, I’ve created a space where you can find comfort and wisdom.
Each week, join me for Mindful Mondays,
Or Fun Fact Fridays where I share hot takes on taboo topics and life lessons I've learned the hard way. Plus, I’m excited to offer you a chance to be part of the show! Use our personal link to submit your anonymous stories and get thoughtful advice from yours truly. Whether you need a shoulder to lean on, a friendly ear, or just some solid guidance, I'm here for you.
Tune in to Elkevate for honest conversations, practical advice, and a dose of empathy every week. Let’s navigate life together.
Elkevate Your Life
Wisdom Wellness Wednesday When Your Spouse Becomes a Stranger! 031225
- Have you ever felt like the person you married isn't the same one you dated? Today's episode tackles a perplexing relationship mystery that might leave you questioning everything you thought you knew about love and commitment.
- A listener writes in with a story that starts like a fairytale – two people meet unexpectedly, form a friendship that naturally blossoms into romance, and seem perfectly aligned in every way. They share interests, enjoy the same activities, and friends constantly remark how perfect they seem together. The courtship progresses beautifully until an unexpected proposal leads to marriage.
- Then something strange happens: one partner completely transforms. Not in the typical "honeymoon phase is over" way, but as if they've been replaced by an entirely different person. The listener describes it as though twins had switched places – one who was excellent at dating and another who emerged after the wedding. Nearly two years into their marriage, the couple is in counseling, reading relationship books, and desperately trying to understand what happened.
- Was it love bombing? Narcissism? Some deeper psychological phenomenon? Or simply the harsh reality that some people present their best selves during courtship only to reveal their true nature after securing commitment? I'm diving deep into these questions and asking you to share your thoughts and experiences.
- Have you witnessed or experienced this relationship bait-and-switch? What advice would you give this couple as they navigate this confusing transformation? Text in your responses, and let's explore this together on #Elkevate your Life!
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Bow, chicka, wow, wow. What's up? Party people, what's up my friends? Welcome to Elkivate your Life, where I am the hostess, with the mostess L as in the letter L and key as in the key to your heart. So it's hump day. Happy hump day everyone.
Speaker 1:Any plans for the upcoming holiday, st Patrick's Day, anybody? Anybody Ideas, thoughts, suggestions? Would love to hear them. Not sure what I'm doing, just know I'm definitely going out Planning on singing, dancing, I'd love to say having a cocktail, but yeah, I don't know, chances are slim to none, unless I can find a beverage that perhaps I can drink through a straw and won't burn the. What's that expression? H-e, double popsicle sticks man, the nickname is escaping me. Well, anyway, I was saying, without burning the hell out of my mouth. That's what I was trying to say. Anyway, this is going to be short and sweet, so riddle me this, batman.
Speaker 1:What do you do when you have been in a relationship? This was a fan mail that came in, by the way, guys. So you're in this relationship, you meet this person and they start out as friends and they really enjoy each other's company. Everything is flowing, they enjoy the same things, they have the same interests, they like spending time together. There's no pressure. They're starting out as friends, seems like everything is going how it's supposed to go when you meet someone you like and it grows into a relationship and then, as time goes on, the people realize that they like each other and they want to pursue more. And this was totally nothing they planned for, didn't expect it to happen. Met under unusual circumstances and it just seems like everything was aligned so perfectly. And then, as time progresses, they have the conversation that they like each other and that it's unexpected and they're scared but happy and you know they have the talk about. Well, this is what I'm looking for and what are you looking for? And this is what I see in a relationship.
Speaker 1:And what do you see in a relationship? And all that is going swimmingly and outsiders are saying that they look like the perfect couple, the best couple, and so they go through their courting process right, and they are doing the things that they love together, which is going out and enjoying outdoor music, dancing, singing, outdoor hobbies, gym, bike riding, hiking, swimming, beach you know your typical romantic couple stuff. And then something unusual happens. The next thing you know the man is proposing to the woman. She had no idea it came out of nowhere, but they appeared to be each other's perfect partner.
Speaker 1:I'm trying to make this brief, guys, because according to what I looked at on buzzsprout, it said I only have like five minutes, so I gotta cut to the chase. So, anyway, they get married and the person completely changes. It's as if the person that was courting the other person changed. Was it love bombing? Was it narcissism? Was it sociopath? Was it personality change? Was it they got bored in the relationship? What happened?
Speaker 1:Inquiring minds want to know. So I'm asking you, my listeners out there, what do you do? And have any of you been in this situation where you meet someone that you like, then love, then pursue a relationship with and things are going great, and then the couple ties the knot and the relationship changes? I know, I know you're going to say, well, yeah, the honeymoon phase and blah blah. No, we're not talking about a honeymoon phase, we're talking about the relationship completely changed. One of the partners changed. It's like they were there were twins and the one twin was going through the dating stage and then the other twin was the one that went through the married stage.
Speaker 1:What is your advice to this couple? They're going on. What did she say, let me go back and read it. Okay, so they've been married for oh gosh, excuse me guys um, just under two years, and they're still toughing it out together, plugging along, figuring it out in counseling, seeking other resources, help, whatever, um, and just trying to figure out, like, how do we get to this place?
Speaker 1:What happened? What happened to the person that used to and I'm just speaking off the cuff right now, I'm using my own words Okay, what happened to the person that used to wind me and take me everywhere? And all my friends said that you just worshiped the ground. I walked on. What do you do? I'm talking about a, the privacy of the people that wrote in. So forgive me if I'm leaving out details, but I'm just wondering what do you do if the person completely changed and doesn't seem like the person that courted them and did all these things? Do they stick it out? Did all these things? Do they stick it out? They're already in counseling individually and they're reading, and, but the person is different. Okay, what would you do? Inquiring minds want to know. So that's my podcast for tonight. Those are my questions for you. I want to hear you do your homework. I'm looking forward to your fan mail responses, answers, ideas, suggestions.
Speaker 1:We all know that change is hard. It usually takes 30 days to create a habit, break a habit. I know all the antidotes from being in sales and customer service, as I've shared with you loyal listeners. Uh, I personally have a am of the growth mindset I'm all about. Read research, research, watch videos, dig deep, read Inner Child of the Past. Read Kyle's book Commitment to Love. Love is a Verb.
Speaker 1:I'm reaching out to all the resources, but what if the other person struggles with that? What if the other person is so overwhelmed by what the other partner is asking them to do that like they don't even know where to begin because they have so many things that they have to address right, and they don't even know? Like I don't know what happened. I was this person, but now I'm this person. I don't know what happened, but I'm going to figure it out. And meanwhile the other person is like you know, we've been married for almost two years now and I've been patient and understanding and I'm just confused. I don't get it. Like, do you have a twin? Are you the serial dater and you're really good at dating but not good at relationshiping? Like these are honest, genuine questions from the inquiring mind couple. They want to know.
Speaker 1:So I would love to hear your thoughts, advice, opinions. Please chime in text on my fan mail. As all of you know, I'm on Spotify, I'm on Apple, I'm on YouTube. Elkivate your Life, tiktok, instagram, elkivate Podcast, facebook Elkivate your Life. It gives you an option, guys, when you go to click on the link and listen. It gives you an option to text in your ideas, thoughts, or it'll say fan mail or text in your ideas. It depends on the platform you're on. So, amazon Music, spotify, youtube, buzzsprout, apple, apple Podcasts, soundcloud, podchaser, deezer, podcastle. Okay, that's all I can think of right now. I don't have them all memorized yet. Forgive me, but we'd love to know your thoughts and ideas.
Speaker 1:I'm not going to give a plug to everybody because I've already gone over the time and I hope this isn't going to be an issue. Thank you for tuning in and listening. Thank you to my loyal subscribers Kyle Few, mike Kaufman, lisa Roberts, curbelo, jeff Parra. Hope to see all of you for St Patrick's Day celebrations, whatever that looks like. No idea yet, yeah, but please share your thoughts, ideas and opinions. Would love to hear what you all have to say, and thank you to Kara and Tom, who are my loyal listeners. Amongst Travis Lemire, dory Parker, true Iman, adam Barry Minor I'm sure I'm leaving some people out Nancy Nottage, sarah Aggie, carly Muser, rain Burleson. Okay, you get the idea right. I can't list everybody. I'm running out of time here. Okay, thanks for tuning in. Ciao for now. Namaste.
